For girl who stare

Day

faded away

and I,

two steps ahead

of the mind

in my head,

want you to be here,

in my mind, so you can hear

all this dreary talk;

But before you 

walk in nest

of thoughts and dreams

that never rests,

you should know

that you may find

yourself in there,

-but who would care?

Reviews

[Emily]

Love, Love, Love your wording!!!! Good job Isus!

[isus]

thanx Emily, glad you like it :D

[Frieda P]

I like 'two steps ahead of the mind in my head'...that's usually what gets us in trouble, a sweet poem isus, be careful who you wish for to share your mind. ;)

[isus]

hehhe thanx for advice Frieda :D

[Frieda P]

Anytime, you know once they get in there, it's hard to get them out. ;)

[isus]

you're so damn right

[Frieda P]

I know, I know haha

[Kasey Miriam]

Great poem! I like the stucture and emotion of the poem.

[isus]

glad you like it :)

[Kleio13]

I interpret that there is only that one person that you wouldn`t mind them being inside your head.

[isus]

yeah, in fact i would like that person to be inside my head

[Frontier]

I really like "and I,

two steps ahead

of the mind

in my head"

Simple but says so much.

[isus]

i can see :) glad you like it! !

[TinyBlondeMonster]

I absolutely loved this poem. It was interesting to read but I also liked the twist you put at the end.

[isus]

i'm glad you find it interesting :)

[daemok]

I like the middle piece the best. It's got a nice melodic beat that makes me think of Dr. Sues.

[isus]

Dr. Sues? :D

[daemok]

Ack! I meant Dr. Seuss! Common mistake! My bad. :P

[isus]

i see, he is a writer but i'm not familiar with work

[daemok]

He does children novels that are strange and sad. Very famous in America, wrote The Grinch.

[Rachelle]

Nice interesting twist, Isus. Short, succinct but with an interesting finish.

[isus]

glad you stop by :)

[Rachelle]

Hope you can review my work, too!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the nice internal conversation in the poem. Last question left a open door for more thoughts and poetry. I like the polite warning in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[isus]

thank you for reading it, nice to know you like it :)