Memoirs of Bobby Payton part 1 (second part)

Reviews

[C.m.v]

You're writing is great--no complaints--but I must admit, I'm still confused. Why all the switching scenes and time frames? I think you should give the reader an explanation at the beginning of the story, just so we arent so confused---unless this is all part of how you want the story to play out..which I'm guessing it is. ;)
I really like Bobby. The kind of guy that is only found in fiction. Most males are about as deep as a cup of soup, so he is refreshing. Mickey is like every guy most girls know. ugh.
Great job though. You're very good at drawing the reader in and giving characters enough depth that the reader can relate and actually feel as if they're real. You have some scenes in here that are very vividly written with a description that really gives great imagery.
As always, send me more as you post! ;-)

[Chase Baldwin]

This continues to fascinate me. I like the jumping around; seems more like an actual flow of memories.