Castaway

Castaway

A Poem by J.S. Pua
"

My fourth post.

"

-Castaway-

 

I shared my love,
Only to be filtered by your eyes;
Like your hand takes my wrist-
Dragging me
Into a world of nothingness,
Where I must wander
As a lost breath.

 

Lonely as a firebird,
I must rise from death
And bring my ashes to you.
Because I know no other way
To reach your flame.

 

But if each night I have faded,
Greyed out of your sky dreams,
Then I should not go much further.

 

And we would be like isles,
But it would be on my shores
That you'll read this:

 

"Will you ever love me?
Will you ever love me back?"

© 2010 J.S. Pua


Author's Note

J.S. Pua
comments very much appreciated.
my fourth post.

My Review

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Featured Review

It is a scary enough to love and be rejected, but it is life. To be a strong in spirit is a blessing. It is scary still that the one you love sets a standard hard to reach, that it is fear and rejection that creeps in our mind and soul, but this is the essence of life to love and the omnipotent teaches us to love. Ive been on that cycle for long but I truly found love free from blame and I truly appreciate it. It brings me unuttered joy.

Keep it up, Keep on writing!
I got to learn lessons from you!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"Where I must wander
As a lost breath." - great line! Very dramatic.

I really enjoyed the questioning at the end, and the feel that the poetry of the moment still exists somewhere and will forever do so.

Just realised I was reviewing this again! I must really like it. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


'We would be like isles' I like that line honestly and nicely written, great poem

Posted 8 Years Ago


Ok, I'm gonna get straight to the point: loved it! I adore this poem, it's such a good write. It flows really well and is structured great. I also like the enjambament used in certain places, good technique =)

Posted 9 Years Ago


To give love so openly ... even though it hurts to not be given back ... this brought tears to my eyes.

Posted 9 Years Ago


The idea of longing for love and acceptance is a very relate-able topic. From the beginning I get this feeling of a negative abuse. It's hard to love those who don't truly love you back. Well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


wonderful poem :))

Posted 9 Years Ago


Oh wow. That poem is amazing and I understand the same pain. You did great on this poem. I truly enjoyed it and it made me think of times that happened to me. ^_^ I will read more of your poems when I can. I've been busy in my own life dealing with heartbreak and reality. Please review my new poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago


"Will you ever love me?
Will you ever love me back?"

i hate these lines..lol..but you used it effectively...
anyway, ihate them because they remind me of something,,lol


Posted 10 Years Ago


An immortal query, yet I enjoyed your creative way of telling the story. This has a rhythm, almost like a song, and was enjoyable to read. Fantastic job.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Until we have experienced unrequited love, we cannot fully appreciate the beauty of love that is shared. Beautifully penned.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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1256 Views
34 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 29, 2010
Last Updated on July 29, 2010
Tags: life, unrequited, relationships, love, quetzal

Author

J.S. Pua
J.S. Pua

Philippines



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