Introduction

Being so lost in thought that you eventually believe that you really are crazy. The voices in your head come and start talking to you everyday. They tell you things like do it, i dare you, don’t be afraid because I’m here, I will catch you. You start to believe what they say and do what you’re being told. But why should you listen to them if they are in you’re head is what everyone asks. Because i was taught to obey by the people who put me here. Don’t you remember mom and dad, don’t you remember all the screams in the night all the things I use to do or did you just suppress the memories so you don’t have to feel guilty about that. Or is that just me? Is it just my mind that made that up and no one actually knows what truly happened.

Was is just fake but no one had the guts to actually tell me. Have i been blinded this whole time about how i got like this. Is it my fault? Did i do this to myself? Did I let myself to get this point instead of being able to listen to what you all were telling me? Is that why all of you left me? Is that why I’m now strapped down and stuck all alone here listening to what goes on at night unable to tell someone what’s wrong because the voices were back and that’s all i could listen to at the moment? Why couldn’t someone get through to me finally?

Was I really that blocked off from everyone because of those few people inside my mind? I don’t understand why I was so hidden from everyone even though i was right there the whole time. What did i do to make it like this. It keeps coming to me that maybe I was born this way. That I was destined to end up here. I have a few friends here that talk to me when they can. Jenay likes to mess with me about my fear of being touched when I can’t see her.

She comes up behind me and grabs my shoulders or my sides and it always makes me jump. She doesn’t mean any harm but it’s still scary. I know about the voices in her head because she comes into my room and we talk about them. The doctors have tried to get us to go to a group meeting but we don’t let them because we only like talking to each other and Alexis. Alexis is like us too but she has had more experiences recently. Most of Jenay’s and I’s are from a few years ago but they still haunt us. We don’t know what to do about them.

We all have nightmares and we don’t sleep very often which is probably why we sneak into each others room’s when we can’t sleep so basically every night. We use to be able to listen to music but the doctor’s took that away too because they said it made us worse but now we all sit in corners and rock. They can’t see that the things they take away are making it worse for us. I don’t like it at all, we all complain about it. We all have tackled one of the nurses because we were told to by the voices inside our heads. Why can’t anyone explain what is happening to us. We’ve all done these things that we don’t really control. 

The doctor’s don’t even understand it. But why, why can’t anyone tell us what’s going on and how to stop it. The medications don’t help anything. They make the nightmares worse and the voices louder. They start yelling at us when our medication is in us and we have told the doctors that but they don’t believe us. They think we are crazy obviously otherwise we wouldn’t be here right? Or maybe we would. What would happen then? Would we ever be let out of the prison that’s encasing all of us who have been destroyed inside by what has happened to us.