Forbidden fruit

just a poem

                      original version 

                        Why is the tree forbidden to eat upon, 

                        Will all flesh soar away?, 

                         If we eat upon the forbidden tree, 

                        God says he made us a homeland, 

                        "But" , He says there's only one tree we can not eat upon, 

                          Then one day, 

                       There was a snake in the garden, 

                      He tempted us, 

                      He said, " God doesn't Want you to eat upon the fruit, 

                      It's bad, 

                        It's the best fruit in the Garden, 

                           Eat upon it, 

                           It wont kill you, 

                          We eat upon the flesh of the fruit, 

                         And we get casted out, 

                       We sinned against God, 

                       Our almighty God

    new version 

    Forbidden fruit 

   Oh why, 

oh why is this tree forbidden to eat upon? 

will your flesh soar away? 

if we eat upon the forbidden tree, 

god says he has made us a homeland, 

but he says theres only one thing we cannot do, 

eat upon that tree, 

as we walk the werry path, 

a snake came upon the garden, 

he tempted us, 

he said God doesnt want you to eat upon the fruit, 

its bad, 

but truely its the best fruit here, 

try it, 

come on it wont hurt you, 

one bite, 

it wont kill you, 

as we ate upon the fruit, 

God was fruiouse, 

Oh no were doomed

Author's Note

let me know what you think do you like the original version or new version

Reviews

[LadyNaida]

Hi Jennifer,

I really like the original version. temptation is always lurking about to see if we take a bite of the forbidden things life has to offer. I guess things happened the way they did for a reason. But thank God for his awesome mercy and grace that he gave us a second chance to make it right with him.

[Coyote Poetry]

Temptation, we will know, and we will lose to her.
"come on it wont hurt you,
one bite,
it wont kill you,
as we ate upon the fruit,
God was fruiouse,
Oh no were doomed"
Maybe we are doomed dear Jennifer. Thank you my dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[TPK Stories]

I like both versions, but to answer why the forbidden fruit is forbidden...I haven't read enough to ponder that question.

[Lathen Griffiths]

I have very little knowledge of stories from the bible or other religious doctrines but I liked both old and new versions of your poem in equal measure.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I couldn't choose which one I liked better. I don't see anything wrong with telling the same story twice with different points of view. It was different to get into the minds of the couple. Its strange how we don't often get to see the humanity in what is written to be the first humans.

[Chris Shaw]

Temptation will always be there and we know it. What to do about it? Fight it or give in?

[JayG]

Disclaimer: I’m probably the last person you want to talk about religion with, but you did ask me…

• Why is the tree forbidden to eat upon, Will all flesh soar away?,

Specifically, the text says, “for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” So your question is irrelevant. As a comment, this was said to Adam BEFORE Eve was created. Did he remember to tell her. Because if not…

And in any case, God lied. He said “surely die,” but they didn’t. And given that he knew she would eat of it, and it was part of his plan that she do it—and, gave them knowledge and personalities as part of creating them. Punishing them for doing what he planned to have happen seems the kind of thing a good editor should have caught before publication.

• Then one day, There was a snake in the garden,

Naa, it was there from the start, remember? But that aside, its legs were taken away as punishment. So…A four legged shake, which has no vocal apparatus, no lips or tongue capable of making the sounds of human speech, walks up to Eve and begins to talk to her. You an I, were we her, would turn and shout, “Yo Adam! Get over here. You’re not going to believe what I just found.” A talking animal of any kind, would get us wondering what’s going on (and perhaps if it was a joke). But…one of the hallmarks of a Fairy Tale is that astounding things happen, but the people in the story behave as if it’s commonplace.

And before you say that the serpent has lips, and such, before it happens, the text is the text. You don’t get to change it. The serpent’s punishment wasn’t any change other than “upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:”

• It's the best fruit in the Garden,

Nowhere did God say that. You can’t freewheel with the Bible and make up what’s not there.

Sorry, but you did ask…

[Nariko]

I like how you show different sides of the story in both versions. The original version they feel guilty for eating the fruit and the new version they're willing to accept the consequences in a way?

[Ana Papaya]

Pandora's box or jar, whichever version you prefer.
It's there for the purpose of tempting us with the ultimate goal of succeeding.
The gods play such cruel jokes upon us mortals.