What Was And Will Never Be Again

What Was And Will Never Be Again

A Story by jumbie's #1 fan
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this is a written music video for the song THE END by Silverstein.

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What Was And Will Never Be Again


Sometimes it happens when two people meet unexpectedly, something wonderful is created. But such bliss is only temporary. If the two have so many problems individually, what hope is there for a big love?

                There isn’t.




Max Webster walked down the hall of his high school. long hair shadowing his face. His headphones were planted firmly on his ears and as music blared through the speakers. His eyes washed over Eden Truesdale, a girl he had dated almost a year ago. Their breakup had been a dramatic one, full of hurtful words and lies.  However, their relationship hadn’t been a serious. Max wasn’t the serious type. He had long relationships, but it hardly went beyond the physical. And if it did, the physical was always there.

With Eden, it had been much different. She was the kind of girl who wanted an emotional connection rather than the physical. She had values, beliefs, and goals for the future. Those were things Max hadn’t really thought about. When he met Eden, that had changed.

Being with Eden started to change the person Max had been to everyone. All of his friends noticed a difference and many were not happy about it. Even all the issues he was dealing with seemed lighter when Eden spoke of hope and faith. The scars on his arms didn’t burn as much with her around. But even as Max was ascending from out of the darkness, a part of him was retreating back to it. He was comfortable with the darkness. It was all he had ever known.

To keep Eden fooled, he shared secrets with her that he had never told anyone. He knew if she felt special to him, she wouldn’t leave. It began to be his little game. Sure, he liked her, but he couldn’t let go of the darkness. Therefore, he hid it from her.

Eden Truesdale’s stomach tightened when she met the kohl-lined eyes of Max Webster. It always did that when she saw him. After a year, she was used to it. Eden used to be a woman of faith, love, and hope. That was until she met Max. He was someone she never expected to be interested in. Not in a million years. However, God had a different plan. Something about him drew her in.

Being with Max was unlike anything she had ever felt. She wanted to take care of him, to save him. She spent all of her time convincing him he was going to be okay, that the cuts he inflicted on himself would be the last ones.
Eden had been dealing with a fair few things, but she pushed them to the bottom to make room for Max’s problems. Every night she’d pray for him. Sometimes she’d spend an hour asking for God’s protection on his life. She believed in him, believed he could be stronger when no one else did. Everyone told her he was a liar, a deceiver. Blinded by her affections and trust, she kept on.

Then it all fell apart. Max was exposed for who he really was. A liar. Messing around with other girls, Eden discovered his heart did not belong to her, in fact, it never had. She was heartbroken.

The thing was, they never got any closure. Eden tried to confront him, but immediately Max jumped on the defensive side. He said hurtful words to her that sliced her heart to ribbons.

Eden had loved him. He had been her first love. She cared about him more than anything. Little did she know the scars on Max’s wrists would become scars on her very own wrists.

After Max, Eden changed. She was no longer a woman of faith, hope, and love. She became the host to bitterness, anger, and depression.

This is how she lives now, enduring day by day. She is content, though the pain and darkness runs deep. Every day, she thinks of him and wonders if he thinks about her from time to time.

Max Webster’s life is going pretty good, at least better than Eden’s, so he hears. Sometimes, he thinks about the times he spent with her. She had been something different in his life. As much time as he spends with his girls, he can’t help think about her. It gets annoying. But as frustrating as it is, he can’t bring himself to throw anything she gave him away. Letters, CDs, and drawings were all that remained of their time together.

Eden can’t do it either. Not a day goes by she doesn’t think about him. And as much as the hurt destroyed her sanity, she can’t get rid of the memoirs either.

It’s tragic how doomed the two are. Almost funny, even. In the beginning, Max’s pain was evident and Eden’s hidden. Now, her pain was a consuming fire. My, how the tables have turned.

Eden believes she loves Max, but knows he could never love her. There were too many walls and too many lies. He wasn’t capable of love.

Max doesn’t believe he loves Eden. She couldn't love him, because he’ll never show anyone who he is again. He hides behind a mask to hide all the sorrow and pain he dealt with in his years.

Both of these young people were on a self-destructive path the moment they lay eyes on each other.

But today, Max Webster can be found in his room, gathering up every scrap of physical evidence of his relationship with Eden. He picked up the letters from her, a painting of a zebra, his favorite animal. There was the jacket she bought him, the birthday card she made him, the necklace she gave him, and the mix CDs she made. Max found the mini-bible Eden had given him on his 17th birthday. A fine layer of dust settled on it. He didn’t need God or Eden, he decided.

After he had placed every physical manifestations of Eden in a box, he took it into his backyard. He set it on the patio. Pulling a book of matches, from his pocket, Max was ready to erase all traces of Eden . He struck the match and tossed it into the box.

He watched as the fire curled and charred the edges  of a photo of the two of them. The flames licked the fabric of the jacket, and melted the metal of the necklace.

Max wanted to walk away, but seeing the objects slowly withering away struck a chord in his mind. Instantly, every memory of Eden flared up in his mind. The first time they met, the day she wiped his tears away, the moment she prayed for him, their first kiss, the intimate moments they shared over the phone. Every single thought of her.

He wasn’t ready to let it go. He couldn’t. Realizing he was burning all of the memories along with a part of his heart, Max ran toward the fire and pulled out some of the objects not yet ruined. He didn’t care about the burns on his hands as he rummaged through the box, stamping out the flames with his feet. Tears leaked from his eyes as he remembered how he felt when he was with her. Eden had been the world to him and he hadn’t known it at the time. Every moment with her had been amazing. He adored her. She was the one he wrote songs about. She inspired him. He had loved her. He loved her. He loves her.

Max raced to his car and drove to Eden’s house. As he walked up the steps to the door, he could remember sitting on these very steps. She had prayed with him. He rang the doorbell.

Eden had been upstairs finishing a poem when her doorbell rang. She went downstairs to the front door. When she opened it,  there on her front porch, was the source of all her pain and resentment.

“Max, what are you doing here?” she asked quietly,

Max took a moment to revel in the sound her voice. It had been so long since he had heard it. He observed her. Still beautiful as ever, but the light that had once lit up her eyes was gone. Snuffed out. Darkness had taken its place. A cold beauty. On her arms, she wore scars much like his own, the same scars she had been so keen to free him of.

“Max.”

He looked at her. “You know why I’m here. There’s something you need to know.”

She closed her eyes. For months she dreamed of this very moment. She waited and longed for the day Max would come back and declare his love for her, but that dream had long passed. And here he was, on her doorstep, a year later. She wished he wasn’t. It hurt too much to see him, to see the look in his eyes, the one she used to know.

The pain on her face was evident. Max could see the toll their relationship had taken on her entirety. The once pure and joyful young woman he had known was no longer evident. The girl that was before him was angry, hurt, and scarred. At that moment he realized the sad truth.

“Eden, tonight I gathered up everything that reminded me of you, everything you gave me, everything we shared, our life,  and I set it on fire.  I didn’t want it, didn’t want the memories. I didn’t want to save it, to save you. I really didn’t. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk away. I couldn’t leave you. Even if I had let it burn, you would never leave my mind, or my heart.”

Eden’s eyes had filled with tears when she saw the burns on his hands. He must’ve dug through the burning items. He went on.

“I knew then you wouldn’t be able to love me, because of all the pain and secrets I had inside. You could never get that deep into my heart. But I want you to know, you have a place in my heart and always will.”

A tear rolled off Eden’s cheek. “Max, you broke my heart,” she said shakily. “You made promises to me. Promises you couldn’t keep. God, I fell for all the lies! But you couldn’t love me either. You have way too many barriers. You lie because you’re a coward. You never asked me how I was doing. I gave and you took. Always.”

“I know.”

Eden looked down. “I need someone who I can fully love and who can fully love me. You’ll always be in my heart. It’s inevitable.”

“Let me ask you this,” Max said softly. “will you still miss me?”
“Yes, I will always miss you.”

He paused and looked at her. “Do you still love me?”

She hesitated. “Yes, I love you.”

He came close to her. Eden drew his face in. Their lips met for a moment, then parted. Rain began to fall as both of their eyes filled with tears.

“I love you,” he whispered as the rain fell down harder, soaking his hair.

“I love you too,” she said back as her mascara ran down her cheeks.

“Goodbye.” He turned and ran back to his house, leaving his car parked still.

Thunder rolled, and lightning filled the sky that night. Eden and Max loved each other. A love so strong, so powerful, they could never be together. Their pain was so deep, they could never live a happy life together. In fact, the two of them knew they would never find a love like that with anyone. Max and Eden never saw each other again, nor did they ever find anyone else.

A month from now, you can see the lightning fill the sky like the night they said their goodbyes. You can find Max Webster in the cemetery. You can also find Eden Truesdale next to him.

And in the rain, you can see Max Webster and Eden Truesdale standing over their headstones, holding hands. The love in their eyes combines with sadness. The two of them took their lives that night. All that was left for them was to follow the light.

THE END

© 2016 jumbie's #1 fan


Author's Note

jumbie's #1 fan
The Lyrics


The first time we met
Your face became etched
In my mind

You were the sun
I was the one
Who worshiped you.
My hands were your guns
Your eyes were my muse.

And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But can I still keep
A place in your heart?

You broke my heart
You promised me the moon and stars
I fell for your dreams. I fell for your lies
There was no other way
You know I tried

And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But can I still keep
A place in your heart?

There is something
I want you to know
I think you know exactly what it is
I didn't want to save you
I didn't want to save you
I set our house on fire
To watch it burn
But I couldn't just leave you there

And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But I'll ask you this

Will you still miss me?
(Yes I'll miss you)
Do you love me?
(Yes I love you)

Planes fill the sky
We'll both die tonight
We'll both die tonight
Hands from the sky
Swat us away like flies
As we follow the light

Planes fill the sky
We'll both die tonight
We'll both die tonight
Hands from the sky
Swat us away like flies
As we follow the light

We'll both die tonight
We'll both die tonight

Swat us away like flies
(We'll both die tonight)
As we follow the light
(As we follow the light)

This union, a battle fought and lost
This union was not about the cause
This union was never about love

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Reviews

This piece made me cry and it touched my soul and my heart. You did an amazing job.


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 28, 2012
Last Updated on May 20, 2016

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jumbie's #1 fan
jumbie's #1 fan

Norman, OK



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All my life, writing has been the one thing I've been good at. Of course, that's an opinion, and it depends on your tastes. Throughout everything in my semi-short life, writing is the one thing that c.. more..

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