Unnamed

Hello. I haven't really written on here only because I been writing more in a journal notebook kind of thing. Everything is crazy it seems like. I have been dating Donald for 4 months now, I'm tired, I'm trying to find a job but no luck there, I been trying to get a apartment or somewhere else to live but can't do that without a job. Lately I been missing my grandpa and uncle a lot more. In my journal I wrote my grandpa a letter even though I know he wont be able to read it. Here is just a piece of what I wrote to him, "I cry because... because it seems like there is a part of me that is missing. Donald makes me complete and whole and what not but...but there is a spot that seems empty because you aren't here. I just remember memories. I don't remember your voice or what you smelled like and I have to look at a picture just to remember what you look like." Donald is a good guy though he makes me actually talk to him even when I don't wanna talk to anybody. Which I think is a good thing but I'm not sure lol....My parents don't like him and they haven't even met them. So how can they not like him when they no nothing about him? Its all because of my sister. She told my dad that he had my phone and was texting her and talking s**t when I was the one who took my phone after he said it was donald telling her that I wasn't going to be home on time. I think what really matters is if I like him then that's all that really matters. My family can't control who I'm dating or choose who I am going to be with and marry and have a kid with. It's the 4th of July I was suppose to go see Donald but the person who he is staying with messaged me and said not this weekend so I'm not sure when I'm going to see him. Well I know I'll for sure be seeing him at the end of the month when John, LaTashia, Trisha, Donald and me all go camping. I'm excited for that its going to be a lot of fun. I know this entry is all over the place. But have you ever tried to remember a memory that you can't remember at all. For me it is when the last time I saw my grandpa or what my last words to him were. In fact, I don't remember a lot of it. I can't remember any of it... I keep replaying the songs If Heaven was needing a hero by JoDee Messina and If Heaven wasn't so far away by Justin Moore. I'm probably going to listen to If  Heaven by Andy Griggs. I wish Heaven wasn't so far away cuz I would love to just go for the day to visit. Just to see my grandpa and my Uncle Dennis again.