Dear Mom

shut the door and then lock it

put the pain in my back pocket

hide the tears i shed for so long

its been so long since you've been gone

but tonight you reach for the top shelf

drink it down, hoping to lose yourself

I stay in my room, with my thoughts and my words

all the while you down the bottle in thirds

laying wide awake, I just can't sleep

I've been here for hours simply counting sheep

with swayed motion, you knock on my door

slowly I open it as you hit the floor

the last time was the last time

that's what you said

but here i am again

dragging you to bed

next night, in the car,

I tell you not to go

but you flick on your blinker

and pull off the road

which is it tonight

vodka or wine?

and who's mother are you?

cause you sure as hell aren't mine

nowhere to turn

i'm stuck in a cage

so i send my pain

from heart, to pen, to page

and though i joke

and laugh all the while

it's only to hide

the hurt behind my smile

always acting tough

so no one gets in my face

cause i can't take anymore crap

i get enough of that at your place

you call to say you miss me

I say me too

because everytime i come over

it's never really you

I can't remember a time

there wasn't liquor on your lips

and i somehow can't see myself

ever recovering from this