deadlock

08/2011

                                  The storm rages outside as I lay

                                    motionless in this twisted joke of a bed

                                     and the great war wages in my mind

                                     Lighting cracks and thunder crashes

                                    as the winds shakes this feeble abode

                                   all I can see is the wraith in my face

                                   Flashes reveals its form and the 

                                    menacing creatures that are crawling

                                      dazed I am held within their limbo

                                       I wish I could rip myself from their

                                     wires that are attached to my body and

                                    take a fresh breath of uncontrolled air

Author's Note

Thanks to Muse for an edit help on this one...xx

Reviews

[((Teenage_Poet_Loser))]

i was reading this and the band as i lay dying, i dont know if you know them, poped into my head! if you expand this make a cool chorus it hink they will actually be stunned by this!
i liked it! it was short to the point and easy to read. So i liked it a lot =] thanx for the share! great work

[light and ashes]

Wow I relate to this poem so much...It reminds me of nights when I can't sleep.
"I wish I could rip myself from their wires that are attached to my body and take a fresh breath of uncontrolled air." Exactly, awesome poem.

[patricia]

Reminded me of a caravan I once stayed in.

I liked...dazed I am held within their limbo. Thanks.

[tk]

i liked this poem. short yet very stunning. :) i'm moved by your words, you made me feel like i'm on the actual scene, wanting to break free. great job on this!! ^_^

[Aidz]

Can be taken so many ways which I like gives it some serious depth

[olla]

the images your words evoke are wonderful..

[SUGATA M]

This is unthinkable description. You have the extra ordinary power to replicate your feeling elsewhere, in the people, thosands of miles away from you, like me. Am waiting for the strom.

[Pratik]

there are moments when u want to break free of all the shackles and be free..just FREE..this one brings out this idea so nicely.. good one :)

[EMF]

The more I read, the more I can see an entire epic developing. One epic poem, with one flowing seemlesly into the other. The images are sensational and intense. Exceptional work. Increasingly you leave me breathless each time I read.

[Arielle Ann]

the urge to break free from shackles that bind us comes to everyone at one time or the other...i think this is what you wanted to convey .. great write!

[Casper]

Really nice writing here. I highly enjoyed this poem.