blur

09/2011

                                        Wrote this on the window

                                that contains true loves kiss

                                never again will I let you in

                             I can't allow this to consume me

                                    Get away from me

                                 your lies are so addicting 

                                  I've felt this way before

                                  and I can't stand here 

                                waiting with hell chasing

                                           after me

Reviews

[Hayley]

Mournful. Devastating. Contemplating. Deciding.
The only suggestion I have for you is to possibly omit the "to me" second stanza, 3rd line. I think it would improve the flow of this piece.
I can't pick out my favorite lines, but it seems to me that you have chosen just the right amount and quality of words, as well as image to really define this poem. The window at the beginning really serves a symbol that carries through.
Excellent work!

[Rene Velez]

way cool scribe Josh, short but direct...

[Joshua]

Your poetry is extremely good. Even though it's a short little poem, it says so much in those few words.

[MickeyM]

I love this poem. It reminds me of my broken heart and pulls on the strings of the healing peices. Great write.

[Dark Beauty]

This piece was short, i was yearning to read more,nice write

[patricia]

I liked the line...I've felt this way before....history repeating itself till we do something different. The last two lines are powerful. Thanks.

[Thea]

" Get away from me
your lies are so addicting "
I love the emotion you crafted here...Very well said, Joshua...Quite sad but filled with greatness... :)))

[Dahlia Phoenix]

I applaud this poem because it mourns something that hurts more deeply than the blade we can cut ourselves with. Lies are that exact thing. The last line, "I can't stand here waiting with hell chasing after me" is a line I will be proud to say. :)

[Shep]

love the emotion you pertray here. Nicely done.

[Jazique]

Nice short simple sad poem and I really liked the ending "I can't stand here waiting with hell chasing after me". There are so many poems that show a line you're just going to remember because it means something. This was a good poem that contained feelings of fear, lost, sorrow, and over in such small words. Anyways it was interesting well done.

[Alicia Hirshey]

beautifully written.