beautiful death

04/2012

Oh beautiful death..
How I yearn to feel the numbing
cold that gathers at your
fingertips, brushing my feverish
skin. Quieting the painful thoughts
that eat at my mind.

Oh beautiful death..
I will remove the salt from my
doors so that you may enter
freely and grant my most  
honest request. I want
to die.

Oh beautiful death..
I am so tired. I willingly open
my heart to you.
May your darkness grow within
me so that I can choke out
all hope.

Oh beautiful death..
Bring me to my knees in prayer
for your swift coming.
Hear my cries of salvation from
the slavery of a lifetime of feeling
the hurt that surrounds me.

Oh beautiful death..
Snuff the fire from my eyes and fill
them with your blank stare.
Take away my mobility for the comfort
of being froze within your
icy embrace.

Oh beautiful death..
Wash over me and still my already labored
breath. Speed through my
veins and overcome all sources of
this cursed life. Replace my containment
with your blessed void.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. Remind me of the old story of old. People in mourning would wish for death over life. Nice flow of thoughts in the poem. I believe if you don't like the place you are at. Move and find a place you are content. Death is a death-end street. Thank you for a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

Josh awesome lines as usual, the one that blew me away was definately:

1. I will remove the salt from my - doors so that you may enter

I love how you tackled death in this, the abyss can be sweet sometimes. On a personal note, it's nice to see you around again.

[freelancejouster]

the religious tones are a little much in some places, for me and the ending seems a bit abrupt, but what you've created is so... it seems to ache almost with the things it says, the things it yearns for.

[Diwakar - "The Warrior ..]

really powerfull........

[devon]

Amazing! So raw, so real.

Your relationship with death is yes, disturbing, but so unique. Your outlook brings so much to the table, and the sweetness of your words makes it taste better.

This is a WONDERFUL piece of writing.

You reflected the perfect death in all its facets, as it is simply, to die, and to feel, to put aside all fear, and pure dedication. Nothing less or more than wonderful, and peaceful in it's acceptation of the coming darkness, a.k.a. lightness.... ;)

[.........]

"Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me; " played through my mind, but in a twisted sort of way. The lust for death is almost intoxicating, yet you made it beautiful all the same. I can feel the presence of you in every single line, and your emotions were delicately woven throughout. Amazing

[Forbidden Poet]

'Bring me to my knees in prayer
for your swift coming.
Hear my cries of salvation from
the slavery of a lifetime of feeling
the hurt that surrounds me.'

Those lines stuck out to me. I love the pure rawness of the words. Well written!

This is a captivating and intense write. I like the expression and the feeling of this piece. I like the style and the pace and flow is excellent. I think this would make a terrific song. Definitely going to read more of your work. =)

[Meghan]

I really like the images in each stanza, but I think they speak for themselves. I think you could keep the phrase, "beautiful death," in the title, and remove it from the poem entirely. I also think you could do without the, "I want to die," in the second stanza. You've already shown it through the allusion. And its removal would also detract from any melodrama that might inhibit your voice.

Nice piece, though. It's hard to write about suicidality without the whiny-teenager tone.