The Mom that got away

intriguing

The Mom that got away

She doesn’t know it because in her mind she wasn’t there,
But when she was born for a split second a fusion of love and innocence  Saturated earth’s embodiment.
Now scientist may argue that this was due to some meteoric Activity in outer space but my argument isn’t science; its real life.
It’s the fact that I’ve looked into her eyes and saw something different,
the way she smiles when something is really funny;
jaws a line right beneath her eyes; you can't fake imperfection.
I saw in her every man’s dream and tried to make it my own she saw in me someone to bless with her friendship.
'lets be friends'; those dreaded words plucked my dreams from my grasp like
like the roots of carrots from earth's nesting
and just like earth i felt empty and like dirt
but your words filled that void
for sometimes a special friend being their is equivalent to the most romantic kiss under the moonlight
so I'll admire you constantly and keep your picture centerfold in my mind's gallery
And I dare not talk about her beauty less not this poem never end.
However when life has decided to sneak a couple years by me
 and am sitting with my kids
I will always in secret tell them about their mom that got away.

Author's Note

again guys please try and ignore the grammar, let me know what you think please

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

I think you're heart's in the right place. The lines are readable, for the most part. This one is my favorite, don't really know why... just something about it: "and just like earth i felt empty and like dirt" Perhaps it's serious and a little funny at the same time. As you wish, if I ignore the grammar there is little to complain about. The message is the message. If I throw the grammar in, you're in deep doo-doo. ;-)

[Samoda]

thank you, appreciate it...

[Rachelle]

Wonderful twist and well-laid out without going overdramatic.

[Lexi Nicole]

I have to be honest, this was a little bit hard to read because of the grammar. It made the piece feel choppy. However, I really do love the picture that this poem paints. It's very beautiful, and I adore the ending. Very nice work.

[Samoda]

thank you, sorry about that...

[InsanityWriter]

I really loved this one!! It's so sweet and honest. :) Spectacular write. ^_^

100/100

[Bound In Red]

I loved the ending. It was unexpected, yet in a way hopeful. I hope to see more wonderful work like this from you.

[Samoda]

thank you, i'll try...

[Bound In Red]

I know you can do it. :)

[Richard Man]

There are great images and phrases here. Deep personal sensitivity."You can't fake imperfection"... Brilliant along with the reference to carrots which I love ( your use not just cooking and eating!). Your picture centrefold in my mind's eye ... centrefold ... so evocative.

[Samoda]

thank you very much... :)

[Serenity Faith]

Oh wow! Such an unexpected end! But written with such love and ache. You have a talent, im seeing it more and more ^_^ grammar isn't everything, but it is something, just work on it a little more and you'll be greatness someday.

[Samoda]

thank you, those are very encouraging words.. means alot :)

[MJ Scott]

I really like this poem, especially the "you can't fake imperfection" part. I think you did a wonderful job of portraying "the mom that got away" to the reader so that they can relate and sympathise. Not to mention it's well written and flows.

[Samoda]

thank you:) kind words

[MJ Scott]

You're welcome :)

[DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf]

We all need that certain someone who does and says the right things. Someone to keep our mind racing and funtioning. But it's clear and known that not everyone sticks around til the end, but it's not always a bad thing. Sometimes people get away from us from once we've got them in our hands...in our minds...

[Be myself!]

I like. Very well written. i love the imagery. Very creative.

[Samoda]

thank u :)