this'n'that (with optional deletable last 3 para ending) add if you like or delete if you like

like the great song one more cup of coffee before I go reminds me of being glued to either my phone or lap top writing.....tear me away from this please. (putting my kettle on he he)

There she sat

oblivious

to this'n'that

curling her twisted

untidy bob

with a finger

it went this way'n 'that

this'n'that!

this'way''n'that

she saw the people pass

she smiled up through her

painted mask

the coffee cup sat ídly there

the waitress

came over

and pulled away an empty chair

took it from her lonely table there

her coffee cup refilled

she sat and vacantly

looked at this'n'that

on her phone

the time was whiled away

the people they did stare

she knew shed been there

sitting hours there

just looking this way'n''that

or chatting to her

friends on

sites like we know the one!

that rhymes with this'nthat

but that don''t matter anyhow

she turned and

walked away

turned and walked this way'n'that

her hips a gentle childlike sway

and obviously

that was it for another

half a day

she must go home

and feed her very hungry cat!

here we have below an optional ending it can end with the cat feeding or with below choice is yours!)

you can take this or that!

She caught the ferry home that

day

pulled out her phone

forgot to see

the views the bay

she didnt see the raging'tide

the ocean waves

she didnt see the waves

that roared

she didnt see the

men with oars

with life jackets

handing out

to all and sundry this'n'that

she didnt hear the terrible

cries

she didnt hear the sirens go

she had her earplugs in

she was listening to

some tune

to a song or a random voice

to this'n'that

it went just

like this'n'that

she rocked her head

in sway

it went like this'n'that

swaying in the breeze

her curls

her finger

in her hair

twining it

just like this'n'that

she was going home to feed her very hungry cat

oblivious to all this muffled this'n'that

the boat swayed it tipped

just like this'way''n'that

she was going home

to feed her very hungry cat

she loved to feed

her hungry cat

imported exceptional tinned sardines

and sometimes fresh mince and

bits of this'n''that!

she loves her hungry cat

she really loved to feed him this'n'that!

Author's Note

obviously we can finish before last 3 para its up to you guys

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the first one. All were very good. Nice set-up for the story in the poetry. I liked the title and how the words danced for the reader to the open ending. Thank you Julie for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks so much for your kind review

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Julie.

[barleygirl]

It isn't that the first four stanzas are the best way to go and we don't need the additional ending . . . it's just that this kinda feels like two different poems to me, both good, but not completely connected. I like the way you've set this up to be interactive . . . inviting the audience to mix'n'match this'n'that. My favorite part of the message is where you're describing everything missed on the ferry home . . . this is why I never had a cell phone. You've conveyed the way it goes sometimes, missing our lives as we live thru the electronics of our times (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks so much for your long review appreciated muchly Margie xx

[Einstein Noodle]

have to agree with jacob...first four is good! especially like the chair being taken away from her already lonely table ..nice one!! at first i wasn't sure about all the this and that..the this way and that etc. but as it turns out you kind of want readers to leave as is or omit as it suites each .. so those phrases allow me to do just that within the poem itself ... nice! i am also reminded of a little darker scene of women all alone in front of a gambling machine in thousands of small town stores ... with maybe five machines in the dark corner .. she's there at 8am and stays until mid afternoon ... loosing the money she should spend on her cat ;) i am grateful she has a cat ...to share her life with :)
E.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks for your lovely long review wow

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i would go with just the first four stanzas...
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Thanks Jacob yes obviously she drowns in last three