rolling my own ciggarettes

A Story by julius9609

i never really knew what an addictive personality i had until i was 15. i was introduced to drugs at a very young age. my parents used to smoke weed when i was very young they still do to this day. i guess it never really occurred to them how it would impact me in the long run. i smoked my first cigarette at the age of 15 the first time i tried any drug was at 17. i was desperate to feel something after angelica left i wanted to know i could still feel. i started off smoking weed on the regular then it quickly evolved into popping A.D.H.D pills and any kind of Watson i could get my little hands on. cocaine was a very big thing for me and Abel at 17. i was so foolish i threw away my whole high school to just be someone i wasn't. i remember feeling the feeling of addiction. it was the darkest thing had ever felt. i had kept telling myself that i wanted to feel something that i needed to. the first time i had ever felt addiction was after i tried suicide, i remember staying up all night with a few rails. i could feel the despondency in my chest. it didn't really takes its toll until i caught myself smoking out of a water bottle bong in my mothers restroom. i cried realizing that after i tried to kill myself all i could bring myself to do was try and do as many things as possible to see if i could still wake up in the morning. it was a dark place i don't ever want to go back.