Autumn's Love - Chapter 1 - Pt.1

Autumn has short conversations about her mother and observes her own figure, wondering how she went from an underdeveloped girl to a mature and well proportioned woman.

            A cool midnight wind chilled my face.  I brushed some of my loose hair back behind my ears to keep it from tangling with the golden cross necklace that had belonged to my mother.  I didn’t get to really meet her.  She passed away while giving birth to me.  I gently rocked in an old wooden rocking chair that was engraved with A.T., my father’s initials.  I vaguely remember him telling me that it was a gift from an old friend from his time in the Navy.

            A soft knock sounded on the frame of the front door.  My father stood in the doorway, hanging onto the door while he leaned out.

            “Hey kiddo.”

            “Hey.”  I didn’t look over at him and instead watched the bugs scurry around the base of a lamp post at the end of the sidewalk.  Usually on nights like this, I liked to just sit and watch the silent, calming environment that was so strange on our street.

            “How you holding up?”  He took a step outside and stood next to the chair.

            I scrunched my mouth up and looked at him.  “Good, I guess.”

            “You thinking about her?”  He shuffled out of the house a little.

            I shifted myself in the chair to get more comfortable and resituate my shorts.  I always knew to expect a lengthy conversation when my dad decided to attempt to get comfortable.

“Yea.  I know I didn’t know her but I still wish I had gotten the chance.  I wish I could’ve experienced who she was, instead of dreaming about it through other’s experiences.”

            He put a hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed.  “I wish you could meet her too, kiddo.  She’d be proud of you.  You should know that.”

            “Proud?”  I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

            “You’re going to be a senior tomorrow.  Officially at least.”

            I let out a little chuckle.  “Yea.  Officially.”

            He looked at his watch and mentally noted the time.  I knew he was stalling; trying to make our conversation seem longer than it actually is.  “Well, I hate to be a stickler, but it’s nearly ten and I need to hit the sack.  You should do the same.”

            “Emily is coming over in a little bit; I’ll head to bed after she goes home.”

            “Autumn.  How many times have I asked you to warn me before someone is going to come over?”

            I bowed my head playfully in shame and raised my voice to a slight whimper.  “I kind of gave you a heads up.  She isn’t here yet.”

            “But she’s on her way, right?”

            “No.”  I pouted.

            He laughed and rolled his eyes.  “Alright, just don’t be up too late, okay?”

            “Okay dad!”

            He walked into the house before I got up and went back inside.  I walked into my room and shut the door behind me.  I stood in front of a long mirror that used to sit in my parents room before I was born and stared at the almost foreign image that stood before me.  I didn’t think I was going to mature so fast.  It seemed like just last year that I had the body of a twelve year old.  In the past year, I had grown into the kind of girl that most guys look for.  I pressed my hand on the side of my breasts and pushed them together a little bit before looking down to check out the strange stretch marks that had formed from the rapid growth.  A good thing that I noticed though was how my old pink shorts fit me now.  Instead of being baggy, they fit tight around my body.

            I stepped away from the mirror and settled onto my bed before noticing the headlights flashing outside.  That was Emily’s way of letting me know that she was here and needed to know if she could just walk inside.  I picked up a flashlight from the windowsill and flashed it back at her car.

It was an old system we started back when we were freshman and wanted to spend extra time together past curfew.  Before she got her license, Emily would walk to my window and shine a flashlight inside to get my attention before she clicked it on and off to ask questions.  Now, she uses the headlights of her car.

            It was a few minutes before she finally shut the car off and quietly walked in the front doors.

            “Hey girl.”  She said as she walked into my room and set her bag down on the floor next to the mirror.  “What’s the haps?”

            I stared at her.  I was a little confused.  “’What’s the haps’?”  I chuckled.

            She made a stunned expression at herself and laughed.  “I’m so sorry.  I don’t know why I said that.”  She settled down on the floor next to my bed.

            “You ready for school tomorrow?”  I asked as I settled my head down onto my pillows and pulled my phone out to check if I had any messages.

            “School?  Oh, you mean the party that is going to be senior year.  Yea.  I’m ready for that.”  She laughed again.

            I hushed her laughter and motioned my head to the inside wall of my room; the one nearest my dad’s room.  “Dads in bed.  Keep it down.”

            “Sorry.”  She cowered out before pulling her phone out.  She noticed the date at the top of the screen and rested her head back on the bed.  “Hey, you okay?”

            I rested my head back on my pillows.  “Yea.  Why wouldn’t I be?”

            “I don’t know.  It’s just.”  She paused and tried to find the right words to use.  “I mean, if I were in your situation.  I would be a little bummed.  I love my mom so I don’t know how you do it.”

            “Well, I didn’t really get to know her, Emily.  I mean, I was a couple hours old when she passed.”  I clicked my phone screen off and set it down on my chest.

            “Still.  I wouldn’t be as calm as you.”

            “Well, I don’t overreact like you do either.”

            She turned her head around and stretched her body out to smack me on the leg.  “I do not overreact!”  She stopped and realized what was going on.  “Oh God, you’re right.”

            We laughed together before settling down into an eerie silence.  We sat in silence for a couple minutes before Emily glanced at the time on her phone.  “Crap.”  She got up fast and almost fell over from dizziness.  “I have to get home.  I promised my mom that I wouldn’t be gone longer than an hour.”

            I looked at my phone to check the time.  “It’s only been like twenty minutes though.  What are you worried about?”

She stood in front of the mirror and checked her hair.  “I’m going to see Mike tonight.  He said he needed to talk to me.  Something important.”

            “Oh.  Okay.  You have fun then.”  I laughed.

            “I just might.”  She said with a hint of sarcasm.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.  Love you girl.”

            “Alright.  Hey, be safe.”

            “I will.  Goodnight!”

            I rolled over on my side to look out the window and watched Emily pull out of the driveway before rolling over onto my back again.  I tried to lift the sheets enough to slide my legs in and noticed the pile of books on the end of the bed.  I groaned before getting up to take care of them.  A small sheet of paper slid out of one of my binders.  I leaned over and picked it up.  It was a letter that my mom wrote before I was born.  I unfolded the letter and sat down on the edge of my bed to read it again.

 

My Daughter,

I don’t know what exactly to say in this letter.  Dr. Tully said that I should try to cope with the idea of having a daughter by writing you letters before you’re born.  To try and speak to you and think of you as someone who can speak back to me.  So here we are.  I’m your mommy.  I know that you don’t look too much like a person, but you are the most important and wonderful thing I have done with my life to date.  You are beautiful and I love you.

 

            Sincerely,

            Sara

 

            I refolded the frail paper and set it on my nightstand before running my necklace between my fingers.  I lifted it up to my lips and kissed it before I flopped myself back onto my bed.  I laid in silence; thinking about tomorrow.  My first day of senior year.  My last year of high school.  It was almost too good to be true.  I rolled over on my side facing the window again and pulled the covers over my body.  The sound of crickets outside quickly lulled me to sleep.

Author's Note

Keep in mind this is just part one of chapter one. Let me know what you think of the dialogue between characters and the inner thought process of Autumn.