Entry #1

01-27-2019 10:14am

 Hello girl in the mirror...

 

       Today you look ashamed. I see regret in your eyes. You seem unsure about the future. It's like past decisions that felt right are leading you to question how they'll affect your future. You don't want to dig deeper the hole you are trapped in, but that seems like the only way to go anywhere. That is, unless someone pulls you out. But even if they do pull you out, the memories will remain, and part of yourself will always stay in that hole in darkness. At one point, digging didn’t interest you. But eventually, you found a shovel. You could have put it down, but you wondered what you’d find if you dug. Now it seems that you’re too deep to go back. And if you did, someone else might fall into that hole that you created. Besides, I don’t want to leave the shovel in the hole or it will rust. It will rust unless the person who pulled me out comes back for it. I know that there’s only one person who can pull me out, and all I have to do is ask, but chances are, I’ll have to leave the shovel. I’ll also have to be careful on the way home to remember the one who saved me and focus on him so that if I find another shovel, instead of digging another hole, I help with my Savior’s garden and can help produce a harvest. It seems so much better outside of this hole, but I’m afraid of leaving my shovel.