Remembering Anna :: Ch. 1

After 17 year old Anna dies her friends create a Facebook group to find out what went wrong.

Anonymous Facebook Note

October 17^th was when my new story started to begin, or rather when it started to end.  It is almost two months later, and it still feels like the pages got torn out of my life�"almost like the devil is now writing a new ending.  We all struggled and went our separate ways after this day. And sometimes I think that it would have been easier to fall if I had someone to catch me, it would have been easier to cry if I had someone to comfort me, and it would have been easier to breakdown if someone had their arms around me.  

I was too young to deal with all of this. I didn’t realize that death was something that actually happened. I didn’t understand this so called “real” world that people use to warn me about.  The world of tragedy had settled into the depths of my soul, and nothing I did would rid it.

I was angry at God for letting this happen.  If He was so great, why didn’t He save her? But now, I see that it was up to me. If it was reversed and I was dying, she would have saved me. So why couldn’t I do the same?

So here goes nothing. In a matter of minutes my body will begin breaking down and I will finally be able to be with her again. This isn’t my family’s fault. I love them more than anything. They were there for me when no one else was. But what everyone else is writing about me and saying about me is true. Anna didn’t deserve to die, I did.

 

 

2 months before

(The night Anna died)

 

 

 

 

‘Cause it’s not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song, your absolutely beautiful song

-Rascal Flatts

 

 

Major contributors to the Remembering Anna Facebook Group as compiled by the Crestview Police Department:

The Ida’s

Anna Ida: Victim

Addie Ida: Sister

Gail Ida: Mother

Forest Ida: Father

Laurie Ida: Aunt

Jackie and Kyle Ida: Cousins

The Basketball Team

Kimmy Smits, Adriana Elk, Chloe Drive, Hannah Yolt, Amanda Turn, Katie Night,  Melissa Hart, Coach John Oahn

Friends

Lisa Crew-Anna’s best friend

Delila Hunter and Benny Gray-Addie’s best friends

Chris Rake: Anna’s Ex Boyfriend

Jimmy Lapo, Yon Tibolt, Devon Red, Skylar Walker, Josh Ceily, Kayla Jones, Lars Owen, Pete Weiz, Tammy Benjo

The Suspect

Marc Hop

 

 

Ch. 1 Why?

Remembering Anna Facebook Group

Wall Posts from October 17^th, 2009

From- Lisa Crew

This group is for you, Anna. As long as we can still keep your memories alive on this wall, you will never die. I know that Facebook was like your home away from home. Even though you are gone, I know you have to still be checking your notifications.

 I love you Anna. I don’t know how any of this happened. This doesn’t make sense. You are supposed to be here with me. You are my BEST friend. I miss you with all my heart…

From- Kimmy Smits

            Anna, this can’t be happening. What is going on? All I know is that I will never forget you. Never!

Lisa says to keep your memories alive on this Facebook group. And I have so many memories of you. Like the first time I met you. You were only a freshman, and I was that big sophomore. Lisa dared you to try out for the basketball team even though you never played before.

I don’t understand how you were persuaded so easily. You normally only do things you want to do. But I’m glad you tried out. When you made the junior varsity team I knew that we were going to be instant friends.

Do you remember that? Do you remember those 7 am practices in that stanky gym? Do you remember the team bonding nights? Do you remember when Coach John told us that we were both going to be co-captains for this upcoming season? Do you remember anything?

You may be gone, but I still am keeping our memories safe. And that makes you alive. I hope.

From-Josh Ceily

Anna, where did you go? People are telling me that you are dead. I know they are lying. They have to be lying. Why would you be dead? I miss you already. What happened?

From-Kayla Jones

Anna, stop this right now. This is some stupid joke. It isn’t funny for you to be pretending on something as serious as this. Facebook is telling me that you are dead. But it’s not real. Tell me it’s a joke. Tell me Anna. Tell me.

From- Lars Owen

RIP Anna.  I heard what happened�"something about you overdosing. Is it true? You wouldn’t do that. And you can’t. We can’t afford to lose you. Just wake up Anna. Wake up.

From-Pete Weiz

Anna, come on. I’m reading what people are writing about you. It makes no sense. The morgue has to have the wrong person. You would never use drugs. You would never overdose.  Get on that phone you use every day and text me to tell me you are alright.

This isn’t right. School won’t be the same without you. Who is going to sing down the hallways with me? Who is going to be my lab partner? We didn’t get enough time with you. It’s not right for you to leave. I won’t let you. 

From- Hannah Yolt

Holy S**t, what is happening? Anna, I just saw you in the news. They said that a 17 year old from Crestview High School overdosed and died tonight.

This isn’t you girl? This isn’t the spirited #7 I knew racing down the basketball court. Is it too much to ask why? I want answers. I want to know why my friend and teammate had to die. RIP #7.

***

Wall posts from October 18^th, 2009

From- Kimmy Smits

By now everyone knows what happened to you last night. My phone won’t stop receiving text messages. And every time my phone vibrates I pray that it is you who is texting me, telling me you are okay.

If I haven’t said it enough, rest in peace Anna Ida. You were a friend to all of us, and I still can’t believe what is happening. The word “overdose” has never sounded so harsh or cold. These past few hours have taught me so much. No one is invincible in this world. No one has a return home safe ticket. Drugs are not the answer, and they never have been.

The last few years I had with you keep flashing before my eyes. I can see you making the basketball team, never giving up. You started out the weakest player on the team. And I’m sure the rest of Crestview smiles along with me when I think of you awkwardly bouncing the basketball around the first few games. But I practiced with you for hours, even after our regular practices were over. Last year you proved to us that two years of dedicated work can really make a difference.  You were the reason we won state, and you were the reason our team became a family.

You lived for the love of life. Day after day you came to practice with a smile on your face just wanting to play. You worked until you couldn’t work anymore. I would love to say I was as dedicated as you, but nobody could ever compare to your spirit.

I remember last year when you got me to volunteer with you for Special Olympics. We got to be assistant coaches for the basketball team and you loved every minute of it. I remember seeing your face light up as you taught the children who had special needs how to bounce a basketball. I remember being proud to call you one of my closest friends.  

I can’t imagine what they are saying about you is true. You never struggled a day in your life. Running, dribbling, shooting�"you did it all with a lively energy.

I’m gonna pray for you, Anna. I’m going to pray that your family and friends stop hurting. I’m going to pray that your younger sister Addie can still feel you all around her�"she needs you. And I’m going to pray that you can rest freely and know that I will never stop working to figure out why you had to die.  

From-Lisa Crew

Anna, I’m going to make a promise to you. Every day I will post on this facebook group. Every day I will think about you. Every day I will pray that where ever you are you aren’t hurting anymore. I can’t help but imagine what if. What if I had been with you last night? What if I could have helped you more? What if. I can’t even comprehend what’s happened. Everything is so surreal. I want my best friend back.

·         From-Kimmy Smits

Lisa, I’m here for you. Don’t beat yourself up. It isn’t your fault that Anna’s gone. You were the perfect friend to her. 

From-Benny Gray

 I know this group is about Anna, and I feel awful about what happened to her. But I want to take the time to address Anna’s younger sister, Addie. Addie is my best friend. Her family doesn’t deserve this. It’s not fair. Addie, if you are reading this, please know that I look up to you. You were so strong last night. I can’t imagine anything like that happening to me. But don’t be afraid to cry. You deserve it. Hugs and Kisses, and we will talk soon.

·         From-Delila Hunter

This sucks so much. Benny and I are praying for you Addie. Just because you can’t physically see Anna anymore doesn’t mean she is gone. You just need to learn to find her in a different way now.  

From-Chris Rake

Wow, that’s all I can say. Anna I wish things would have turned out different. It didn’t have to be this way. You were the last person I thought would have done this. You had other options.

·         Lisa Crew dislikes this comment

·         From-Amanda Turn

Huh?

From- Jackie Ida

RIP baby cousin. I hope others can learn from you that drugs don’t solve anything. They stole you away from us. I can’t believe any of this is happening. I miss you like crazy. I hope for your sake that whoever was with you the night you died goes through hell. He isn’t a true friend. A real friend would have prevented this. A real friend would have stopped you. And a real friend wouldn’t say that he was too high and that’s why he couldn’t call for an ambulance until you were practically dead. 

·         From-Marc Hop

I understand where you are coming from Jackie, but don’t judge anyone. You don’t know the situation. Nobody knows what really happened.

·         From-Kimmy Smits

You don’t deserve to be in this group Marc. Yea, maybe none of us know what really happened, but you did. I heard you were there with Anna when she died. How dare you think you have the right not to be judged. How dare you think of yourself as Anna’s friend. You are disgusting.  

From-Skylar Walker

Anna, don’t get me wrong. I have always admired you. But what you did was stupid. I think we all need to learn by this. Drugs can kill. We’re not invincible, and it sucks that it takes someone like you to show people to stop.

·         From-Lisa Crew

First of all Sky, don’t say crap like that about Anna. You don’t know any circumstances in her life. And Anna, it’s the second day without you and it’s crap�"complete crap. I don’t get this anymore. I don’t get who I’m supposed to turn to. I don’t get who I’m supposed to call after crazy nights. I just don’t understand. Please help me. I love you. RIP.

From-Tammy Benjo

I didn’t know you Anna, so this is for Addie. I am so sorry for everything that’s happened. I wish I had more to say, but I don’t. I’ve never lost anybody before, not even a grandparent. I guess I’ve been lucky. I can’t even imagine losing someone like a sister. You’re strong though, Addie. You’ll get through this. I’m here for you if you need anything.

***

Addie Ida’s Facebook Page

Addie Ida has written a new note           

(From the team at Facebook: Your note wasn’t published. To publish it so others can read it, click here.)

Anna…Where are you. They made this group for you. It’s called Remembering Anna.

Why do you even need a group? Groups are for things that are funny, or for people who are in activities together, or for causes. I am in a few facebook groups:

1.       Crestview High’s Film Club

2.      Class of 2014

3.      Let’s see if we can get 1 million members.

But where did this Remembering Anna group come from?

This isn’t funny. Why can’t you just come home? I’m waiting for you. And I can’t go in our bedroom unless you are in it. It’s like when we were younger, and I was always afraid that there was a monster under my bed. I would always wait until you came upstairs to go to bed because I knew if anything bad happened, like if the monster attacked me, you would be there to help.

But now you won’t come home, and there is a huge monster in there waiting for me. I need you to come and protect me from it.

And if that’s not enough of a reason to come home, how about the fact that Mom and Dad can’t stop crying? They think that you are gone, but I know it’s not true. Benny and Delila were with me when I had to go to the hospital to see you. And they promised that in some way or another you are still here.  Please, come back so we can stop being sad.

Anna…Please. Don’t let it be true. Don’t let this facebook group be because you are dead…Don’t let it be true. 

***

Remembering Anna Facebook Group

New Discussion: Favorite Memory of Anna

From-Lisa Crew

Anna I love you. We were friends since the first day of kindergarten when my animal cracker fell on the floor.  I was about to start crying because to a five year old it’s very traumatic to drop your animal cracker. That’s when you stepped in and saved the day. You split your cracker unevenly and then gave me the bigger half. And you never stopped giving. You would always take the worst end of a deal if it meant someone else would benefit.

Remember when I dared you to go out for the basketball team because we both thought Coach John was cute. (Little did we know he really preferred men!) But you didn’t even give up on basketball, and look where it’s led you.

I hope you have many courts in Heaven so you never have to stop playing. Maybe one day you can teach me how you do that spin thingy on my finger. I miss you Anna. It’s not fair. Once again you take the worst end of the deal, but I know that in doing so you probably helped someone else out.

From-Jimmy Lapo

Rest in peace Anna. I had so many fun times with you sophomore year. Do you remember that we were lab partners in biology? I never forgot the time you kissed the dead frog before we dissected it. “I just want him to feel loved before he gets destroyed,” you said. I thought that was the most beautiful thing ever.

At your funeral I hope everyone gives you a kiss just so you know how much we all love and care about you. And just because you are dead doesn’t mean you have to be destroyed. We are all here for you Anna. We all still care about you. We all are waiting for you to come home.  

·         13 people like this

From-Chris Rake

Anna, I know that you probably hate me since I broke up with you, but even though I’m your ex-boyfriend I never stopped being amazed at how much you make the people around you shine. I’ll be the first to admit that our relationship was rocky. But even when we had our little fights, you still found a way to get through to me.

I loved you since the moment I met you, and I never stopped. So I want to be the first one to tell you that I don’t know what the f*** is going on. I found out about your death in the most impersonal way ever�"through a text message.

And ever since then I want to go back in time to a little more than a year ago. We had just started really hanging out. We weren’t even dating yet, but every day I found out more about you. Do you remember that you got sick the night we were going to go out on our first “date”? I brought you my mom’s special soup. And I think that was the first time both of us realized that this was the real thing.

What can I say Anna? I love you with every being in me. And without you I feel empty, unimportant, and lost. I miss you so much. We were supposed to be together forever. Please wait for me.

·         Lisa Crew dislikes this comment

From- Devon Red

RIP girl. I will never forget you. I know it sounds especially cheesy to say this, but it’s true. You will forever be the sunshine of my life. Even on the worst of days you could make me feel alive again.

I can never repay you enough for helping me get through my mother’s death. It felt like you were the only one who cared enough to help me get back on my feet.

I’m going to miss you, Anna. I’m going to miss the way you laughed, the way you smiled, the way you made me feel not afraid to face my fears.

Can you please give my mom a hug while you’re up there?  

From-John Oahn

For anyone who doesn’t know me, I was Anna’s basketball coach. My favorite memory of her was when she taught my daughter how to shoot a basket. Back when my partner got a job, I had to take Jessie with me to our after school practices.  Anna instantly connected with her. She saw how much Jessie looked up to her, so she made time to help Jessie learn a few basketball skills.

Jessie looked up to Anna. The team looked up to Anna. And I did too. She was a spectacular person and teammate. RIP.  

 From-Laurie Ida

Anna was my niece. She was born on September 8^th 1991. I still remember being in the delivery room with my brother and sister-in-law (Forest and Gail, Anna’s parents). When Anna arrived into the world she never cried, or at least not in the traditional sense. As an OBGYN nurse I see all kinds of babies enter the world, all with the same helpless cry. But Anna’s was different. Her cry was confident and happy�"almost like a laugh. I’ve never seen this happen to any other baby.

Anna, you were special, and God still has plans for you. Don’t let your silenced laugh stop that. RIP sweetie.  

From-Adriana Elk

Anna, I had so many memories of you. But my favorite would have to be doing sprints up and down the court with you during our practices. You and I had this secret mission to out run each other. I remember even when we were exhausted we would run and run and run, pushing past every barrier that came our way. It felt like if we wanted to, we could keep running, the adrenaline would keep pumping, and nothing bad would ever happen.

Those sprinting sessions made me a stronger person. And I thought they had the same effect on you too. How could they not? For the last two months you out ran me every time.  

From-Delila Hunter

I don’t remember the first time I met you, Anna. It probably happened the first time I came over to your house to play with your sister Addie. But that was so long ago.

I didn’t even know you that well. I mean, we would greet each other and you would joke around with me, but I never got the chance to truly get to know you. But by the way Addie talked about you I knew you had to be someone special.

My favorite memory of you would have to be the time you drove Addie, Benny, and me to the mall this past summer. Addie was in the passenger seat, and Bee and I were squished into the back seat. You turned on the CD player really loud, and the Lion King soundtrack started blaring through the speakers. You said whoever sang the quietest would have to hug every person they saw in the mall, so we all started screaming the African words at the top of our lungs. I’m going to miss times like that. You always knew how to make people laugh.

From-Devon Red

My whole friendship with you is my favorite memory. And I hope you remember every detail of it.  I first met you in 4^th grade. We became instant friends, just like everyone else you have ever met. But after that year we silently started to drift apart after I became brainwashed to think that girls had cooties.  

Back in high school we reconnected, and I’m so thankful that we did. Last year when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer you drove me to the hospital after school so I could be with her when she got chemo. You stayed with me the whole time. You laughed with my mom after she got done throwing up. And after we left the hospital you would hold my hand as I cried my eyes out.

Do you remember when my mom died? You were the first person to call and see how I was. And you were the only one. Everyone else was afraid to approach me and didn’t know what to say. Somehow though, you did. We became so close after you saw me through my weakest moments. I considered you my best friend.  

This sucks so much that you are gone. You are the one person who could have made this world a better place. I don’t understand how you got mixed up with all those drugs. That wasn’t you at all.

From-Chloe Drive

Just thinking about my favorite memory of you makes me laugh so hard that I almost forget that you are gone. Do you remember at our last team bonding night at my house? Everyone was waiting for you to get here. We were in the basement and had really loud music on so I guess none of us heard you ring the doorbell.

All of a sudden a huge bang hit the basement window, glass flew all over, and a bloody hand came through the broken window. I screamed so hard until I realized that it was you trying to let me know that you were at my house. After we got back from getting your hand all stitched up you explained how you didn’t want to bother me so you were just trying to lightly tap on the window to get my attention. Anna, you always tried to not intrude on anyone’s lives but unintentionally always made the biggest entrances�"in a good way. I love you girl. RIP.

***

Addie Ida’s Facebook Page

Addie Ida has written a new note

(From the team at Facebook: Your note wasn’t published. To publish it so others can read it, click here.)

Hi Anna. Do you remember the first time we went to the ocean? Even though it was years ago I remember it more clearly then I remember yesterday. I can hear the waves pulsating onto the beach, I can feel the sand stuck between our toes, I can taste the happiness on our tongues.

Everything was so big. If you looked across the water you would never see the end, but I knew it had to be there. It’s kind of like when you look up at the sky and can’t see Heaven, but you know it too has got to be up there past all the clouds.

The water was too cold to swim in, so you and I decided to be sand chefs. The feathery sand dipped into salt water was our dough. We would shape it into cakes, cookies and mud pies. And we talked about how someday we would open a bakery. The bakery would be in the middle of the building, and our two houses would be connected to the bakery, one on each side. That way we would always be together. Our husbands were going to be best friends, and we would each have two children.

Everything was perfect. We had our future all planned out, down to the last detail. So why would you change the plan? Why did you go behind my back? Why didn’t you let me know that you were hurting? Do you remember?

Reviews

[Dr.Pepper]

a very unorthodox style of writing was somehow has that magical charm that keeps you reading. Maybe it's because I too had a friend that recently passed away and we do post stuff on his Facebook wall. Almost brought a tear to my eyes because I can feel the relationship that you and Anna had. I would have to agree with Calypso, it is very lengthy. This one chapter can easily be broken up into a few other chapters.

However, it was very well written, and I am sure that Anna would be very proud of you.
Stay strong, little soldier

[Calypso]

I really like the idea of doing this. The chapters are too long though...
I have always wondered how this works and there seemed to be already to much of pure and real emotion.
I like the idea.