darkness

there's a time, for about a year when all i can remember are tears, anger and pain. it was the darkest part of my life and i understood why people ended it, for real. i was going to, i really was, but then this other kid did and i saw everyone, everyone struggling to go on with their lives, to fight through each day and those weren’t even his close friends or parents. i honestly think that his death saved me from my self. i’ve never told anybody this, i came close once, but i never have; last year i was very depressed, i was so angry or crying and locked up in my room, my grades dropped, i totally isolated my friends and then the darkness went away, the rain dulled to a mist and the pain faded. i think i was one of the lucky ones, that made it out on my own, and i’m very grateful, which i why i try to live now, to appreciate the time i saved for me, the time i didn’t give away and steal from others, it’s mine and i want it now, i want to feel through the pain, all the love and hope that i didn’t see and share it with everyone i can…