A little of my story.

This story mentions parts of my life from Kindergarten until 9th grade(Which I'm in now.)

The cuts on my wrists,

So neat and straight,

Hide all the pain,

That I've had to tolerate.

People teasing and taunting,

Sometimes even punching,

The girl who used to be pure.

They made me cry,

Each and every night,

All I wished was to be dead.

I tried to take my life,

More times than one,

Each time,

I just couldn't go through.

Life is pain,

That's all I've ever known,

How is that fair?

I had no friends,

Except the ones who used me,

Then dumped me,

After they'd had their fill.

I wanted nothing more,

Than to be loved.

After a while I realized,

My dream could never be,

So I went into a hole,

I didn't want to be seen.

The emotional pain,

From those I called my friends,

Was just too much to bear.

I shut myself down,

From everyone around,

Not letting anyone in.

The beating and teasing,

Never did stop,

Everything I did,

Might as well have been slop.

I started to hate myself,

                "I'm fat

                I'm stupid

                I'm ugly"

No one ever showed me,

What a true friend was,

Only liars and cheaters and frauds.

I've had a painful life,

That much is clear,

Did no one ever stop to think,

                "Maybe she's not that weird."

                "Maybe she's not so stupid."

                "Maybe she's not such a loser."

                "Maybe she could be nice."

No one gave me the chance,

To show them who I really was.

So I changed myself,

Nothing was me anymore.

No one seemed to notice though,

No one seemed to care.

Not until one day,

When a cut on my wrist showed.

A girl about the same age,

Walked up to me.

                "What is that? Are you okay?"

I lied and said yes,

That my cat attacked,

But she wasn't so easily fooled.

                "Tell me the truth,

                I promise I won't judge.

                I just want to help."

So I gave in,

And told her I cut,

She merely gave me a look that said,

                "Let me in."

I then told her,

About my years of torment,

And she listened with eager ears.

She helped me find,

Different ways to show myself,

That yes, I am alive.

That was 3 years ago now,

We still are friends.

I have 4 true ones now.

I am so grateful,

For that day in Health,

When I met my friend,

My first true friend.

Author's Note

This is a story about me..
The girl mentioned in the end, is the one who I mainly wrote the poem "Friends" for..

Reviews

[Krista]

I can really relate to this poem. I'm a cutter myself and always wish I was dead. This poem is also my story as well as yours and others probably too.


If you need someone to talk to I'm here!

[Silently waiting]

Thank you, and yes, I actually have quite a few friends who this relates to as well.. It was just one of those things that I had to get out, and I didn't know how to do it if not in writing.

[Silently waiting]

And thank you, same to you. If you ever need to talk, or if you ever need some advice, I'll be more than happy to try and help you

[Zebrah.]

I love how you described the way you have felt over the years to your friend...I'm happy that you have a friend that doesn't judge and actually cares, this is beautiful.

[Silently waiting]

Thank you.

[Zebrah.]

You're welcome ^_^

[Silently waiting]

The whole reason I wrote this story, and the poem, was because I have never been able to describe in spoken word to her how much she means to me, nor have I been able to stress what a role she played in saving my life.. I've always been better at writing, than talking, so I just hope that this got across to her how much she has done for me.

[Zebrah.]

I know what you mean..I am the same way with my best friend, i love her so much but i tend not to tell her..i'll just write her loving notes

[Silently waiting]

Right :)
Friends are so important, to everyone, but it's sometimes difficult to put across just how important they truly are.