dear daddy

daddy, are you proud of me? 

the daughter that you raised, 

to be terrified of everyone, 

for they'll harm me for their gain. 

and love does not exist, does it? 

it's merely greed and lust;

oh have you taught me well? 

now that i fear to trust. 

and all the callous criticism, 

you said would do me good, 

has left me fearing of an audience,

when i can't act the way i should.

and daddy, how you ruined them, 

the women who i loved,

my mother, and the lover,

and the girlfriend long withstood.

or were you simply bored, 

and people were a game, 

oh daddy, you have cursed me! 

and what a crying shame.

i look into the mirror, dad, 

and i'm grown but i am weak, 

a little girl still weeping, 

for a father's loving speech. 

and oh these wretched eyes,

that you have given men,

they're wearing and forsaken,

too tired now to see.

you stole from me a childhood,

telling me it was for the best,

but still daddy, daddy, daddy,

dont leave me list the rest. 

Author's Note

One of my first poems to post on here. It's pretty personal but I would really really love any comments & advice. Thank you.

Reviews

[Jared Michael Smith]

I really liked this one, Kat. :) It was short, lamenting, and full of emotion, which is a very good poem in my opinion. :D I do have some structural concerns though... First off is capitalization. I just feel like it would add a nice aesthetic quality to the piece, y'know? Looks aren't everything, but it can be refreshing at times to not only read a good poem but also see one. As for my other concern, I am also worried about the change between free verse and a set rhyme scheme about halfway through. It honestly confused me a little when I was reading it because I felt like it really took away from your presentation. The message and the images were solid though! I really liked it, and I'm sorry I took up so much review space!!! XD

[Kat Waugh]

Thank you so much for your review- I'm glad it was so long!
I did sort of want to leave out capitalisation to reflect a child speaking, but I do think you're right about the presentation of it. Little bit confused about your comments on the rhyme scheme, as when I read it it stays the same all the way through and there is no free verse? But maybe I need to change and think about how it reads.

Thank you again!! :-)

[Jared Michael Smith]

Of course! :)

[WithLoveandLoss.]

"I look into the mirror, dad,
and i'm grown but i am weak,
a little girl still weeping,
for a father's loving speech."

Daringly strikes an emotional chord. This is spectacular and rich with disappointment. You speak of being weak, but you showed striking confidence in this piece. Well written, I look forward to reading more from you.

[Kat Waugh]

Thank you very much for your review. It is indeed a very emotional poem- I am glad that you enjoyed it.