My Curse

My heart cant help

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The mists swirl around my feet

                Creating an unearthly atmosphere

                                The swing creeks to and fro

As I sit on the swing

                My Feathers touch the ground

                                As I move back and forth

The air is thick and cold

                My dress is in shreds

                                From where I fell

My hair softly touching the feathers

                Feathers as soft as a rose

                                The color of a lily

My skin is fair

                My eyes are aqua

                                My hair is black

Everything around me is dead

                This is my curse

                                My punishment

My life here is never ending

                This is what I fell too

                                My heart can’t save me now

Help me someone

                Save me from this desolate place

                               Rescue me from this prison...

Rescue me from this place called Earth.

Reviews

[luciddreamer]

wow so vivid...I could see the desperate beauty in the dark
Peace
Robin

[Brad]

nice vision of hell on earth, it was dream like, and left me cold

[Bee]

a fallen person, eh?
I like this so much. I like you make earth kinda the antagonist here. It shows how imperfect our world is. well done.

[JelliFyshKissUs]

The lines rocking back and forth gently is very creative. I don't know if I want to save you from your place on earth. I think I would rather join you. It seems so peaceful and serene to me with the feathers and the light sway of the swing and swirling mist. Maybe I'm just kooky, but this makes me envy the girl on the swing.

[loowzerX]

wonderful :)

[justAnumber]

Be careful as some parts seem a bit repetitive, but overall I love the idea. A fallen angel who is put on earth and sees all of the ugly, comparing it to heaven. I think you are capable of taking this a little further and tightening up a few spots that could really bring this story to life. I would love to see an updated version. Thank you for sharing.

[Marie Harrison]

Beautiful write! Fabulous job.

[Cassiopia Summers]

Very good imagery. This is similar to your other recent works. (:

good imagery.

[David W Moore III]

I love how your image of everything but you seems black and white. You are the only color. Nice. The feelins are universal. Everyone has probably felt that way at one time or another. A few small typos - desolate and creating AN unearthly...
Nicely painted. And if you still feel like that then here - (hugs)