Proluge- Making of a man

beggings maybe hard but worth it. and if he thinks this hard.... just look toward the future.

Proluge

Making of a man

from the begining he found that hes travele was hard, he was arfand as a a chiled. Mother died in chiled birth, and his father was killed in the great war between Terrant and Caledona. All he knew of his father was that he was part of the dragon brigade, an eleat fighting force of Cledonia, that was well known across arcanum. Reveard by all untill the birth of the tech age, wich brought fire arms into the world. It started as just several sharp shooters, on or two a unit. But it ended as every tarrant man on the battal fealed held a standed issue firearm. This was the death of the age of mistasisom and magic, the end of the dragon bregade, the end of Keylan davidson’s father.

Keylan, at the time not having a name, was sent from orphanage to orphanage, teaching how to survive in the big stone city of Hather, he escaped as an un-educated, un-trained, no money and no where to live. He explored, finding himself at a great forest. Sleeping on in a large pile of leaves he watched as the sun disappeared under the tree tops. In the dark he heard noises, rustling leaves. He opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by  tall slender elves. A shock to him, he had only seen a few in the city, a few half elves. But these’s where full blood elves, tall, slender, pale skin and a beauty that could not compeer to any other race he had seen.

He stood up, looking around at the tall creatures looking at him, one male stepped forward to help him up, he wore a long coat just touching the floor, the bottom of witch  was stained and tarnish with mud and dirt from trailing in on the forest ground. The male elf spoke in a quiet and trimmed voice but, the not yet named, Keylan did not understand the sounds coming from there mouths, one smaller girl behind him said “he does not speak our language, he is a human, not many seek elfish.” She was smaller then the other women around, he thought she must just still be a child. Suddenly all the creatures around him started to speak, although they where speaking English he could not listen to all of them at once, it was all over his head. The trees around him started to spin, things started to fade, he got a sickly feeling in the pit of his stomach and things went black.

When he awoke, he found himself on a soft bed like nun he had ever been on, the cushioning was like laying on a cloud. He was in a roofs wooden room. There was paintings around the walls, of tall slender figures in beautiful backgrounds. He sat up his feet touching the floor also maid from wood, there was a large branch in the middle of the room, also with carvings and paintings on it. He thought it had been holding the roof up in the middle. The smaller girl came into the room holding a tray with a small bowl on it. She was wearing a black dress that contrasted against her pail white skin. She was slightly shorter than him but he knew in just a few years she would have had to grow older. She was stunning, almost glowing with beauty.

The Elvin race are a very natural race that have higher grasp on magic and the herbal arts. They seem to twinkle when walking into a room, they have an electricity Depending on where in the world they come from, determines the powers they posses.  They’re born with a natural grasp past on by the parent. Elf’s are a philosophic race, the dreamers and creators, the lovers and artistic. They normally live in heavily forested and river arias, spending most there time feasting, singing, talking and playing. They are fast learners so there parents teach them over a short period. And they play the rest of the day away. Most races find them arrogant and pompous, but only because the elves don’t normally let anyone into there religion or towns, for fear of corruption to there beautiful people.

She looks at the boy sitting up on her bed sitting next to him. “good to see your awake” she said in a soft voice. “y-yeah” he said weakly stuttering, she put it down to the fact that he had just woke up, but in actual fact it was he was stunned that such a beautiful girl was talking to him. But you must also put that he’s just woken up in a elvan bed and is still a little shocked. “oh… you DO speak” she says giggling, she sounded very intelligent for her age.

”yeah I speak…. Buuut this is all too much for me”

“oh yes, yes. I understand what you mean. Here” she hands him the bole. It’s a little hot on the bottom, so he puts it in his lap.

“what is this?” he asks hesitantly

“it’s called ‘antines’ but you would call it soup”

“oh… ok then” not having ate anything for about a weak he doesn’t pass it up. It was a broth looking liquid but when he put it to his tongue it tickled and prickled, it was a strange sweet, looking at it you wouldn’t expect it to taste like toffy but it did. “wow this is good”

“yes but soon you will be full, so slow down” all of a sudden he could feel his stomach filling quickly, he stopped afraid he would burst and he only had one or two mouthfuls. “that will make you grow strong” she said softly.

I can see why” he said chuckling, she smiled.

“I’m Cassandra, call me Cassy” she said in her accent that was hypnotising to him.

This meeting would be the beginning of a great tail, a tail un readable by fortune tellers, but a story of one man that would create the balance between technology and magic. Or destroy one so the other can thrive

Author's Note

my spelling may be bad.... for i missed alot off my lerning as a child butmy grammer should be spot on... Chapter 1 comming 10/8/11

Reviews

[Misted Eyes]

I can indeed attest to your bad spelling, but, unfortunately, your grammar (of which, by the way, spelling is a significant part) is quite bad too, though not too bad as being unreadable. Generally, when writing a book, you'd want to add more descriptions, of the surroundings, of the characters, of the weather et cetera; when I began doing so I've found the words to be more flowing, like a tidal wave instead of a ripple as it once was for me. Doing so will mean, for example, that 'from the begining he found that hes travele was hard' becomes 'Since the boy could remember, his journey was difficult, nearly impossible in fact, and the lack of purpose he felt after being thrown from one place to another was not helping his travelling'.

Now to the contents of your prologue.

It seems quite interesting if too short; should I've been writing it I would've expanded the first paragraph into two or three, in the first telling of the boy's mother and in the second, and maybe third should there have been one, of his father. The meeting with the elves could be described as a meeting with 'strange-looking folk... tall and slender, fair of skin and hair with eyes glowing dimly; he did not know who or what they were, but it was certain that they were not humans... Perhaps they are elves, he wondered, musing upon the idea that fairy-tales could become reality'.
As for the child's name, I don't think you should include it in this piece for the purpose of building a mystery around the character, and keep his name to the first chapter, of which the name would be the centre, thus giving you a free and easy chapter to write.

But this is just my opinion and you are in no way must do as I've suggested (I rarely do so myself).