broken up like a fragment of a dream

for him

fading

slowly 

softly

swiftly

silently

blowing

gentle against the breeze

i forget reality

i'm sure

this

is

real

our love

is real

Reviews

[Vria P Crow]

This has beauty that some may overlook. The protagonist appears to be struggling with the overwelming feeling of this connection with someone; he or she may be in a relationship or simply in the "love at first sight" mentality. Emotions have this tendency to invoke euphoria; a state of escaping the tangible realm and into something far more spiritual. The title almost tells the reader what this is about. As a suggestion, perhaps you could work with a title that does not give away the ultimate image. However, it is ultimately the writer's decision of what should be there or not.

The structure of this poem is quite lovely; I admire the unconventional use of the lowercase letters and lack of punctuation. Overall, I enjoyed this its concise focal point on the subject of love.

[FaeryQueen]

thank you so much, i wanted the message to be in the title, it was my intention.

[Vria P Crow]

You are very welcome. Your intention was successful. :D

[FaeryQueen]

wooop wooop!