3 Years Ago.

I’m not a bad person, am I?

For doing what I did

What is it you called it?

Cheating

Cheating is a bad word

And I did it

I didn’t mean to

And yet

I did it

-

I never wanna do that to you

Ever

Is it

Safe

To say that I can leave now.

Is the door open

Or locked?

-

And yes, you're wondering, I can feel it, it is a poem, and I am odd at times

You know this

I do not regret what I did

Only that it hurt you

And of your crying

Oh

Silky soul do not cry

Don’t shed your tears for me

I fear they will never dry

And poetry is my soul and my home

I feel alone otherwise

-

I talk in riddles

My mind is a maze and that’s why u love me so but please

Do not humor-

Me

It is funny

Why

Is it funny?

Oh, because you love me

And why do you

-

Your words

Funny

Kind

Smart

Beautiful

Those are your words

Have you given them to me?

Are they mine now?

I am a child you know

I want you to need me

To love me

As a child would of its parents

I crave love

Yearn for it

I never had-

Enough

-

I am afraid of love you know

A child is afraid of things they don’t understand

I think if you understood me better

You be able to love me better

-

But - and I don’t know how to respond, I never did, and I never will

Why is it every time the sky is clear your back here

My head is numb to my thoughts

And my thoughts are numb to my mind

I’m stuck

But I'm-

Somewhat ok

How?

-

I’m nervous

This much is known

And I don’t mean to be

I just

Am

And

Ant, I want you to know how much you mean to me,

I just think females need more males like you, and males need more females like me

-

I’m resigning you

Or... Renouncing you, relinquishing all of your worries for me of you

You don’t need to worry

I’m happy you know now

What you did

What I did

What we did

I’ve always wanted a boy

I...

I don’t know

I’m so close to telling you

If we only had one more phone call

What good would it do now?

__

Khat