Dad

This is just something i wrote following my fathers death, it was just a way of expressing how i felt.

Trapped...

Everywhere I go you’re watching me. Every corner I turn you staring at me. I close my eyes and I can still see you. I try to block it out. I don’t want to remember it. You left me don’t come back. It’s been months now but still it doesn’t seem real. Everything that happened that day is burnt into my mind. I’m trying not to think of the pain and I pray to God it goes but if anything it gets worse. I was my Daddies Little Girl...

 It wasn’t a cold day, quite warm actually I remember waking up and having a bad feeling in my tummy, not so much butterflies something else. The feeling was unknown to me I can’t say I had experienced it before. Truth be told a little part of me knew it was coming, when I didn’t know but I was sure it wouldn’t be long.  

The room was white. It smelt like disinfectant so strong it burnt my nose. Walking down the long white corridors I couldn’t get to you fast enough. The walls were filled with bright colours in an attempt to brighten the mood. They failed to do so. Portraits of Nurses and Doctors smiled at me in another attempt to lighten the mood but again it had no effect.  

 My mind was filled with questions, I wondered if you would make it just like you always did. Slowing down as I reached your room.  I saw it was infested with Doctors walking in an out. One noticed me. She slowly walked toward me, I didn’t want to hear what she had to say, I already knew. I didn’t wait to find out. I just ran.

You lay there, the weakest I had ever seen you. Your eyes were fixed in front of you as you focused on your last breath. Looking into your eyes the brightness that had once been there was slowly dieing out. I could hear nothing but the beeping of the wires that contained our last bit of hope. You looked into my eyes, so helpless I stood there motionless. I would have done anything to stop the pain you felt.  Just from the last glance you sent my way I knew you were leaving me. You were about to break your promise.

My Hero.

  Beep...Beep...Beep...

It was as if the floor had opened up from beneath me. Running over to the side of your bed, I fell to my knees. I wanted to scream, shout anything. I begged you to stop playing games, to come back.

Your body felt cold. Your eyes did nothing but stare at the wall in front if you. I shook you as if to shake life back into you. I watched in silence as the lady put her hands over your eyes to close them. She turned round to the doctor present and said

 

 “Shahed Ali Shah Died 21^st August 2009 at 4.31 pm”.

 

 

Reviews

[LetMeLaughLetMeSing]

Oh, this is incredibly powerful... the imagery is intense. It's beautiful... :(