Magicks!!!

A source battle of world importance, I am just playing with ideas really.

Bemused intolerance to the fools of the earth,

Perusing the lands of magical inspection,

Retarded thoughts fling between us two,

A light had beamed a tiresome reaction.

 

Green hands lace air as toxic folds with death,

Mirrored eyes show mercy for the sun,

Veins make her happy when busted closed,

A child, a man, a death for mere fun.

 

Make haste at water’s edge in dessert storms,

She comes to find the dead as they rise third,

A locket captures the essence of tiny mortals,

In war not even soldiers are really heard.

 

Battles are waged away from human grasp,

The ending will come like floods to the dam,

Raised hero’s will mark us for protection,

A might evil is placed in the stars, a horned ram.

 

 

Author's Note

Be honest as always

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is amazing. You need to expand and tell the complete story. I like the honest and strong words in this poem. I like how you can make your point with proper language and strong words.
"Make haste at water’s edge in dessert storms,
She comes to find the dead as they rise third,
A locket captures the essence of tiny mortals,
In war not even soldiers are really heard."
Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Dayran]

I may have been in the mood for this about now. Its absolutely brilliant ... of the heart of creation pleading with the creator not to undertake creation for what she foresees as mere waste, death and mirrored eyes. Such perceptions of mortals in the beginning is today giving way to a better understanding in man as the glory of creation. Good one.

[Jack...]

I found this piece to be brilliant. You have painted in abstract brushstrokes yet conveyed your message in understandable clear thoughts. The flow is clean and the balance between ideas is seamless. Just curious, the last line...should the word be "mighty"?

[quinfinn]

stunning imagery and wonderfully penned, a triumphant write indeed!

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

You asked for a review, Thomas. I notice it's an older piece. The title spelling is a hook for those inclined in such direction; but of course you know that. It's good. Keep the title. It goes well with the word-set of the piece. Those words, curiously arranged, complimenting in places, opposing in others; and tension... always the tension and the distribution of simmering disenchantment and intolerance. The last stanza of prophetic-sounding lines... I've noted this on at least one of your other works but it bears repeating if only because it fits here too... mage-like nostradamion constructves. A leather bound turmoil that scintillates from that dark corner that is you.

A worthy piece, Thomas.

[Sami Khalil]

"Battles are waged away from human grasp,

The ending will come like floods to the dam,

Raised hero’s will mark us for protection,

A might evil is placed in the stars, a horned ram."
Ending is my favorite but also the whole...Well penned as always ...:)

[unsavable_soul]

Tempting,
This is ever packed with mental imagery here Thomas. Got to say I love your talent in spinning beautiful words into a tapestry of description. There is rise and fall to the visual perceptions of this and also a pretty pulling flow as well. Good rhyme scheme. I didn't understand what you meant though about it being a battle source, can't say I know that term and I looked it up but found nothing direct. My best overall interpretation was of war and genocide and perhaps the slaying of the beast by a hero. The ideas here are beautiful and with that in mind I say most excellent work dear Thomas.

"She comes to find the dead as they rise third,
A locket captures the essence of tiny mortals,
In war not even soldiers are really heard."

While a bit vague to me it gave me much visual and poetic imagery, I can allude to this but I feel I am long winded enough. This was my favorite line. I felt it carried a good setting for the middle of the piece, set a very good theme if you know what I mean. Excellent piece.
Sincerely
Christopher
100/100

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you Christopher x

[unsavable_soul]

Welcome Thomas.

[Emerald Seas]

Pulling out the dark bits into the light. This conjures some fierce imagery and the use of 'she' threw me for a moment, but then not. Fascinating read.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you

[Frieda P]

The thoughts of those brave people in battle are ugly, your words speak to the human aspect of war, a necessary evil I suppose. Imagery here is spot on, good one Thomas.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you my darling.

[Frieda P]

Always my pleasure sweetheart ;-)

[Robin]

I can't help but hear John the Savage from Brave New world reading this ... a provactive poetic

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thanks

[NightShade]

The spelling of the title caught my eye and I was certainly not disappointed! This has all the subtle complexity of Uncle Al's most beautiful Rites and the artistry of Spare's visual acuity. Marvelous composition!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you