Haunted

Two years have passed,

And i’ve thought about the old days rarely.

Until now I knew I was fine,

Still lying to myself that the insomniac nights

Never existed out of my nightmares.

Then one night not too long ago

The packed up memories had finally hit me.

I never wanted to remember

The person I was back in that cold November,

Always sad and depressed and anxious too

I never thought i’d ever change.

It was painful, yes, and sometimes concerning

When my once bright future wasn’t tangible anymore.

It was black and cold, filled with endless sorrow

With all the nights that I stayed up crying

Always feeling like I was going to die.

“Panic attacks” my therapist said

While sitting in her comfy leather chair

Analyzing the words that left my lips dry.

I remember that moment as clear as day;

I could hear the voices of my stupid anxiety,

I felt the old patient’s chair shaking by my right leg trembling,

And I watched the thin, lined paper bend and fold under the quickly writing pen.

Silence back then used to scare me to death.

Two years passed and everything changed,

Always smiling happily without a care in the world.

I never consciously thought about those times,

I tried my best to forget,

But now it finally occurred to me

That I’m forever haunted by those days.