Trapped In The Open

Trapped In The Open

A Poem by ikibala222
"

trapped in myself

"
i am a fiend.
i can't settle
Down until
i Speed
up.

no luck for me.
now what?
the clock is
counting
  Down
     Down
        Down

uncomfortable perch.
my back is in pain.
no time for Me!
no time for
gains.

it would be strange
if there were something normal
to compare it to.

no luck for me,
no Love for me.
just work
and lost time
utilized
toward
a very
dull
potential.

too long,
too long.
to far
for me.

i can't settle
Down until
i Speed
up.

© 2013 ikibala222


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Lee
"no luck for me,
no Love for me.
just work
and lost time
utilized
toward
a very
dull
potential."

Best line that is...
I really liked the visual play on words. There was a definite childlike quality throughout, despite it clearly reflecting the worries of an adult. And I appreciated the counter-intuitive approach with going towards that more storybook-like poetic format. I almost could see illustrations come to life in my head. lol Well done on this piece. It's well written, strong and creatively unique.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ikibala222

11 Years Ago

wow thank you so much!!!!



Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Lee
"no luck for me,
no Love for me.
just work
and lost time
utilized
toward
a very
dull
potential."

Best line that is...
I really liked the visual play on words. There was a definite childlike quality throughout, despite it clearly reflecting the worries of an adult. And I appreciated the counter-intuitive approach with going towards that more storybook-like poetic format. I almost could see illustrations come to life in my head. lol Well done on this piece. It's well written, strong and creatively unique.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ikibala222

11 Years Ago

wow thank you so much!!!!

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237 Views
1 Review
Rating
Added on July 1, 2013
Last Updated on July 1, 2013
Tags: experimental, quiet, unrequited, bitter, reflection, observations, addiction, speed

Author

ikibala222
ikibala222

IL



About
I'm just some kid trying to make her name as some sort of female bukowski wannabe type thing. sue me! more..

Writing
Quiet. Quiet.

A Poem by ikibala222