Forgotten

(E Book) (Kyrielle Sonnet)

This wretched man living in spite,

loses his mind most every night.

His mind is scarred from years of strife,

so badly scarred, he lost his life.

 

He strings his useless hopes along,

fight the battle, singing the song.

So wicked is he, lost his wife,

so badly scarred, he lost his life.

 

He lost the fight that isn't fair,

to look outside he wouldn't dare.

Sanity gone, gripping the knife,

so badly scarred, he lost his life.

 

This wretched man living in spite,

so badly scarred, he lost his life.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I approach this with a certain trepidation and excitement as I am new to kyrielle's. I must have read about the form in a book, but it did not stick with me. So I am full of curiosity. I read the form before the content, noting the 8 syllables, the rhyme and the repeats. The execution here feels very well balanced and works in the read. My only slight worry was over 'So wicked is he,' which I found a bit difficult as the rhythm seems to falter slightly, though I could be reading it all wrong. As for the theme, it is strong meat and there seems an inevitablity that they man is doomed to a bad end.

[Emily B]

You do well with forms. I have to respect that in a poet. Structure tends to elude me. Your piece has a musical quality much like a blues lyric. I enjoyed the read.

[Asha Raphael]

"He strings his useless hopes along . . . . He lost the fight that isn't fair"
do you know what i think? people like that may lose their lives at the end but they never lose themselves and that's what really counts! i mean, to carry your "useless hopes" to "unfair fight" that's the highest a human being can get!

i loved this piece; it's so real.