Whats left anymore

If you wish to 

call me a fake or a liar 

go ahead 

words are just that.

Everything that you say to me,

I know isn't really truth 

because I know I Don't belong

I should have died years ago 

but instead I chose life 

to fight for the little things.

A reason is all I want,

an answer to my questions.

Is there an actual point

in this life for me?

It seems nobody cares 

but again I know people do...

I see it in the faces 

that maybe

just maybe 

I would actually be missed.

That thing I only wanted

is gone.

The actual feeling of belonging 

but in reality I don't know if anybody actually cares.

Theres two different things,

showing and actually caring

the love has to be proven,

Getting tired of all the hurt

the promises broken time after time.

You said you would be there

that you would never go!

But instead that was just another lie,

in a long list of promises to be broken!

What is a life 

without pain.

WIthout a little blood loss.

A shattered heart,

a person that no longer wishes

she was here.

Life learned,

lesson proved.

The smile on my face,

is just a mask waiting to fall off.

My life a circus,

with so many acts

so real though

yet so fake.

Or i wish it was only a dream

a dream I could erase from reality.

Get rid of all the promises broken,

the people who hurt me time after time.

Knowing I don't know how to show feeling,

I loved you,

yes past tense

i still do love you 

but is it worth the hurt and torture.

So far yet so close.

Just a little deeper,

dig in and let the blood run freeley.

Nobody sees 

nobody knows..