WHATEVER

12 17 12

Humouring
Fooling
Tonight
they are one
and the same

Just to bemoan
the proximity
of words on paper
to words on a tongue
plants my newborn
despondency
on a mirrored podium
of selfishness

I thought I was
sanctifying
routine breath
and token platitudes
in greasy hand-held
rituals
But just like holy water
sheds its symbolism
and is sucked back
into nature's cycle
the ink I warm
and nurse my words
to health with
will bore itself
into the impermanence
of paper or a monitor
and what I said
will shed the hope
it may have carried
at a time of
hopelessness

Lottery tickets
are what I'm writing
as I sit here
with my skull
swimming in a pillow
of utopia
nursing a ruptured
Narcissism
slashed down
in a war of wills
with your sadness

I was humoured
with your happiness once
and fooled tonight
by your sadness
Nonetheless
I thank your sadness
for a necessary lesson
Clinging to the same numbers
is a Pollyanna policy

Author's Note

I'll go back to this when I have a clearer mind...

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I was humoured
with your happiness once
and fooled tonight
by your saddness -- lovely lines...bittersweet.

Sometimes these lessons are like daggers in the heart, but we must learn them still the same. I think that even without a "clear mind" you have portrayed something I can definitely relate to. I feel the purging in this, and the yearning for understanding and for things to just be "right with the world" in a way.

You twist the knife with this one...and I feel it. Well done.

[kublakhan27]

I guess it's a case of having to experience the bad to know what the good feels like, and having faith in the presence of a balance...I think these are the musings of one who is denied that sense of balance...so glad you can relate to this one, being one of my more reflective pieces in recent months...thank you Sarah :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I must confess...every time I read your writes it takes me on a journey of thoughts to ponder... I am taken to another realm of thinking in which I indulge in. You are the icing on the cake when it comes to cryptic writes.... I love cryptic!

"I was humoured
with your happiness once
and fooled tonight
by your sadness
Nonetheless
I thank your sadness
for a necessary lesson
Clinging to the same numbers
is a Pollyanna policy"~ This is Nice!...I enjoyed your relinquished tone you have conveyed in this stanza... Superb Finale!~xoxo~

[kublakhan27]

:) Thank you Robbie, I'm so glad that my words have that effect...writing should be a journey for both the reader and writer, and when I read that in your review it brought a smile to my face, which hasn't happened a lot lately ;P Having said that, I never set out consciously to be cryptic, but that's how the words always wind up...I often wish I could scale that back a bit, but then I also think it leaves more wiggle room for interpretation...thanks again my dear friend for reading and understanding ;) xoxo

[kublakhan27]

This was lovely insane my bro... this is poetry at it's best, and I am happy to read you again tonight.

Gosh, "Lottery tickets
are what I'm writing
as I sit here
with my skull
swimming in a pillow
of utopia"

Those thoughts are fantastic, and the words you used after them too.
This is a sarcastic one, I like... curious which music you would have post
(these days)... do it with a same mind, as you wrote it lol... thanks dear.


- Elisa

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Eli, you've truly humbled me with your words here, especially the first part ;) There's no denying the presence of a snarl in this one, but like most things I write, the poem I finish with is not the same poem I envision when I start it...this was pure melancholy in the beginning but the more I worked on it, the edgier it got...maybe my muse is bipolar too haha I actually didn't consider any musical accompaniment for this one cuz I was intending to go back to it after I first posted it, but the feedback suggests it should be left as is...perhaps I'll add a song if I get a chance to think about it haha Thanks again sis...your encouragement keeps me going more than you know :)

[Angi]

I see no reason to come back to this with a clearer mind, Steve! I write the best when my mind is racing. Optimism in the midst of resignation... Don't fight it. Let some of the light shine in. Angi~

[kublakhan27]

I'm such a bad contradiction...I've never been comfortable writing in the heat of the moment, and prefer to write "after the dust has settled" cuz I feel like I do my best work in that setting, but I also happen to be more sympathetic to your idea that poetry should be written in the heat of the moment when the emotion is still fresh...I am full of such contradictions, but when you live with what I live with, consistency is wishful thinking more often than not...I think that really came through in this one...but I've gotten a little better at recognizing "the light" as I've gotten older, and hopefully my cynicism will burn in it someday...until then, I write stuff like this haha So glad you liked this one, thank you Angi :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

Keep it as is. I chuckled at the last stanzas. That's not a blistering indictment of your work, I saw it for the dark humor that it was.

Nice job.

[kublakhan27]

Haha yes there is a fair dose of wryness in this one, I was feeling very wry that day...glad you liked it my friend.

[Rita L. Sev]

Lottery tickets
are what I'm writing...

Hoping for some better future, but doing the same thing that put you where you were (as I see this was many months ago).

Some great lines to ponder in this, K.

[kublakhan27]

So true my friend...a lot of this has to do with my condition and the struggle to break from the routines it locks me into...so glad you liked it, thank you Rita :)

[Muse]

Your Author's not...revisit this with a clearer mind? NO NO NO don't do that. The worse thing you can do is try to bring sanity into poetry. I like it just the way it is!

[kublakhan27]

Haha thank you my friend, I did decide not to tamper with it ultimately :P

[Hamza]

"But just like holy water
sheds its symbolism
and is sucked back
into nature's cycle
the ink I warm
and nurse my words
to health with
will bore itself
into the impermanence
of paper"

something that seeps in and mingles with my blood reaching the back of my brain and twisting everything
i haven't read such stuff ever
the best piece ...

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my friend...it means a lot to know I was able to connect with a reader on such a deep level :)

[quinfinn]

depression comes in waves and solitude makes the ocean much more terrifying at times. i love the way you have captured some of the deepest feelings in this powerful piece. don't rearrange what the mind has seen fit to express in total honesty. this is a masterful write.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much, that means a lot^^

[quinfinn]

welcome!

[Frieda P]

hahah, noooooo it's perfect, don't get back to it! I don't know which line I like best, they're all over the top but my fav is definitely ~

Lottery tickets
are what I'm writing
as I sit here
with my skull
swimming in a pillow
of utopia

Love it! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Oh my, I totally missed your comment here, shame on me lol :P Thank you Frieda :)