NOT QUITE SUNRISE

07 07 13

Before the morning shooed existence
out of its bed
I caught the sky and sea
trying on each others' night clothes
It was like Daddy
seeing his wife kiss Santa Claus

Author's Note

I sat on this for a week and could not elaborate on it for the life of me...I guess this is one of those things I'll look at five years from now and finally figure out what I was trying to say...in the meantime, here are six lines to scrutinize at will...

Captcha: unsex(???)

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

"I caught the sky and sea
trying on each others' night clothes"

this is a really unique image that i had to think about a whole lot. interestingly enough, it made the most sense when i thought of it with the daddy/santa section because they're one in the same! in disguise all things are exactly what they seem....i also just got done reading your poem on b***s so the captcha fits because that poem was sex and this poem is unsex (but still sex in the sense that it's great poetry hahaha) good work!

[kublakhan27]

Haha thank you Dana, I was absolutely certain that this piece was unfinished, but the general response towards it tells me that it is, so I'm trusting my friends' opinions ;) There must have been some subconsciously intimate connection between those two poems as I wrote them relatively close to each other...I always love reading your reviews and ideas :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

never a problem! your style is unique and fun to read :)

[Frieda P]

OMG I love this Benji....pure genius. Just wow, WOW. 'Trying on each other's night clothes', only you could think of that one my friend!

[kublakhan27]

Haha glad you liked it Mrs.R, thank you :)

[Frieda P]

Does it seem like I liked it hon? I loved it ;-P x

[kublakhan27]

Haha and I'm very glad that you did...thank you dear friend :) xo

[Frieda P]

You know I don't say it if I don't mean it Benji! xo

[kublakhan27]

And you know I never doubt your word Mrs.R ;) xo

[Frieda P]

Haha you don't want to piss Mrs R off now do you? Laughing here ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha depends on the punishment love ;D

[Frieda P]

HA!.................................

[kublakhan27]

Hahah did I actually leave Mrs.R speechless? ;P

[Frieda P]

I'm busy cleaning the coffee off my computer screen actually. ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha oh, sorry about that ;P

[Jack...]

Great little piece here, I love each line. Still smiling from the Santa kiss. Indeed each moment, be it sunrise or sunset carry some of the same qualities, it just seems they may disguise their self for our ammusement.

[kublakhan27]

It's amazing what comes to mind when staring out at a sunrise over a frozen ocean...thank you Jack :)

[K. Louis]

"I caught the sky and sea
trying on each others' night clothes" -- Love that line!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you K, glad you liked it :)

[Rebecca Buller]

This was a very clever piece, my friend. I would call it six lines of totally awesome:) :)

[kublakhan27]

So glad you liked it, thank you Rebecca :)

[B-poet]

A witty, intriguing and clever write. Very entertaining as well. Great work. :)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much :)

[rhythm&blues]

Very clever read, and I think you've captured that feeling of dual personalities here.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you r&b, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it's not sunrise yet--that is true...

but he really is seeing himself kissing his wife...

i like this...it begs the question, do we want to believe in santa clause? really?


because if we do...and he is kissing the speaker's wife...

there maybe trouble in the north pole...

but if life is pretend, then we can safely try on each others' clothes...and no one would be hurt...and when there is peace, existence can slip back into bed, and sleep with a clear conscience.

nice work...sometimes less lines are better...and often i go back and look at poems a long time after writing them...and end up figuring out why i wrote them.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Jacob...I'm happy (and somewhat relieved) that I was able to generate observations of this depth.

[Destinyxi]

hey six lines I UNDERSTAND! and can read without taking a break. hahaha. Yay! a short poem from you that isn't split up in sections.

Very nice steve, very nice.

A beautiful image popped in my head when reading it. Makes me even more excited to go to florida in 3 weeks

[kublakhan27]

Haha thanks hun...enjoy the beach, you deserve it :)

[Angi]

I have come back to this 3 times since you posted it. I didn't know what to type. I wanted to say, doppelganger with the daddy/Santa. Honestly. Rita nailed my thoughts, perfectly. Clever, clever. I can see the sea and sky blending into one. Angi~

[kublakhan27]

Haha thank you Angi...this is such an odd one for me cuz it doesn't feel like it's anywhere near finished, but I guess it's enough to get people thinking ;)

[Angi]

You know my work so when i say, 'sometimes, less is more,' you know where that comes from. Just my take.

[kublakhan27]

Very true my friend, and I do appreciate that take...it goes a long way in aiding me with the progression of this piece, if there is a progression at all ;P