Mismatched Match-up, Second Mismatch

“Nice to have you back, Kurai,” Suzu said.

“Wish I could say the same thing,” Kurai grumbled. Shikke was beside him, pouting about the white cat that soon left after the two had finished their introductions.

“Oh, come on, ligh’en up,” Akkun said.

“HOLY !@|$# THE CAT $%^%^@#$% TALKED!” Shikke burst out. Kurai and Suzu stared at her.

“You didn’ tell ‘er, did you?” Suzu tried to hold down a smile and Kurai turned away to hold in his laughter. Akkun sighed. “You’re jus’ as immature as Kurai, Suzu,” Akkun continued.

“Huh? Wha? Is, is this ventriloquism or something? Wha? I, Wha......” Kurai burst out laughing and Suzu chuckled. Even Akkun laughed a little. Shikke smacked Kurai in the back of his head.

“Ow! That hurts!”

“You got a problem with that?”

“I can’t believe that you’re my sister.”

“Yeah, do you have a problem with that?”

“...”

“I thought so.”

“Hey! Don’t use my ‘I don’t care’ attitude against me!”

“YOUR ‘I don’t care’ attitude!? I invented that from the beginning! I was just nice enough to not bring it up when YOU used it!”

“Yeah? You’re supposed to act like that because you’re a GIRL!”

“Male chauvinist!”

“Tomboy!”

“Jerk!”

“Les!”

“Okay, now that’s just plain rude.”

“Sorry. Wait... Why should I care!?” Suzu and Akkun looked at each other.

“This is hopeless...” Suzu sighed.

“You can say tha’ again,” Akkun agreed.

Kurai and Shikke fought all the way back home before Suzu had enough.

“Why can you two not get along? It is uncivilized of you two to be fighting!”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT, OLD HAG!?” Kurai and Shikke said at the same time before going back to their argument. Suzu went to her bedroom and sulked. Akkun followed her. *for all you people who love your mothers, never say this to your own mother or she will be very sad and heartbroken*

“You know, this will never work,” Akkun said. Suzu let out a long sigh as she sat onto her bed.

“Yes, I am aware of that, but we need them to-” A loud bang rang out. Akkun sighed and went to see what happened.

“OH MY GOD! HOW’D YOU EVEN TIP OVER-”

“SHUT UP YOU PRISSY FELINE!” Akkun came back into the room.

“Now I’m sad...”

“I am aware of that. Say, what did they tip over?”

“...”

“Well?”

“The book ’ase.”

“The large one?”  Akkun nodded. Suzu sighed and landed her face into her pillow. “What are we going to do about them? I mean, all they have been doing together so far is atart one argument after another.”

“I can ‘alk to Kurai la’er ‘en they s’op.”

“IF they stop, that is...”

Author's Note

Please tell me how the story's going or if there's something i can fix on it >.<

Reviews

[Imagine Blade]

It's actually more on dialogue. It's a bit lacking on details on the setting, the background and what was really happening. It would help if you put in a 3-5 sentence paragraph in the beginning to describe what was initially happening so the readers can imagine the situation. Conversations are difficult to follow once there are more than 2 people talking because there has to be a rapid switching and you have to tell the readers who is talking to whom.

I'm a bit confused about Suzu's way of speaking. It's like a signature accent but I think it doesn't suit the character? Just me though. You can tell it like the character speaks a certain dialect or talks in some particular accent.

Also, it would be more powerful and meaningful if you sometimes use italics in some conversations, not just all caps, to stress out meanings.

^_^

[Kurera]

thanks, best advice ever :P anyway, yeah, Suzu talks more formally so i made sure she never has shortcuts in her speech :D