But, baby, your lighter fluid is running low

An ex-boyfriend of mine was actually useful for once. I wrote this.

After you called it off,

we kissed again.

Fireworks in my belly,

but pain in my mind.

I hope my lips burned yours,

like a farmer branding cattle.

I hope my name tastes like acid

and I hope your nervous

system ticks

when anyone speaks of me to you.

I hope it slides down your throat

and rests in your belly.

I hope it weighs like a rock

and guilt.

I hope you mourn your loss.

Condemned to wear black

in your heart in remembrance.

Mentally comparing that kiss

to every other girls'

uniformly habitual cigarette glow.

Now I wait months

for a boy's kiss

that feels like the spark to a forest fire.

Reviews

[NiceTouch]

Wow...Such passion and disdain! This poem seems to capture the emotions of an individual filled with animosity towards another, but at the same time tormented by unsettled love towards that same person. Great Job! I hope you'll check out my poetry as well!

[Rachel Mason]

That was exactly what I was going for! YAY! Thank you:)
And I will definitely check out your poetry!

[Justin]

i feel for you theres a lot of bad things i wish to happen to a few girls but i know thats wrong so i take that back

[Justin]

that was really great!!! it tells a great story, it has alot of emotion in it, which made it even better!!! keep it up :)

[Frieda P]

Breaking up is hard to do, you pen'd it with a vengeance, holy smokes. :)

[Rachel Mason]

It was a very ugly break up that coincidentally has fueled me in some creative and positive ways. But, I am sure glad to be out of it:) Thanks for your compliment!

[A. Amos]

Truly entertaining piece of art, you my friend are a great writer...I was smiling all the way till the end:)

[Rachel Mason]

Thank you so much! I found myself smiling after reading your review, and I still am :)

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my friend...great every one is smiling, including the writer!

[J. K. Beach]

Rachel,

This is good writing... you have me laughing and wishing you had said every word to the creep! The images of what you hope for him are clever and spot on funny. Keep up the good work!

[Rachel Mason]

Oh, trust me, I wish I could have said all those things to his face!
(Instead I'll write poems and post them online, hahaha!)
Thank you :)

[J. K. Beach]

That's the modern way, I guess (sigh ;) Still, as long as you stick it to him, all's good...

[Harmartia Poe]

Aye girl you light up my world ;) lol. I love this poem so much. It's so vivid and sizzling with angry fire. I love your word choices and you are a fantastic writer :)

[Rachel Mason]

Aww :) Thanks, chicky! I finally found a good way to channel my anger about the subject, and into something that I am quite proud of! Bad experiences make great writing material ;P

[Harmartia Poe]

They really do xD

[Cory]

Interesting poem, i liked it.