Matters Of Fact

Oh, you know, words and such.

How could I express
That which must be said
My constant, steady orbit
Around the center of yourself
The sunlight on this glass door
Illuminates all our obvious
But like the words you let escape
It doesn't matter
Your bladed eyes offer nothing
Yet cuts force me to bleed
As strangers hear my heartbeat
To separate rooms we retreat

Reviews

[iamshadowine]

great job! keep writing :)

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it

[Arooj Purra]

nice piece of writing..keep on writing...

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I appreciate it

[Lost, n'MT]

I don't know how you do it, my friend. Your ways with words and being able to command them to where it flows so beautifully, yet each line is compacted with so much power, in which evokes so much emotion, in just a handful of words at a time. It amazes me how it's just so... I am not sure how to describe it. Perhaps "Intricately simple" even though simple is too basic of a word and sounds somewhat condescending even though that is not my intent whatsoever. It's just so complex in so few lines. It isn't necessarily the "less is more" effect, but rather, the less is great, but I can imagine more being just as great, if not better. Similar to a song, book or TV show that you do not wish to end. Sorry for veering off course here, but I am not entirely sure how to convey what I'm trying to say. I think this is another fantastic piece. Speaking of which, each piece feels like chapters in a book, especially when you read them almost from start to finish as I have, it tells quite the story even though they're not necessarily connected in a story-telling way. Yet the emotion behind them is conveying the story so much as the words, perhaps even more so.

The line "The sunlight on this glass door" has me wondering though, and obviously you do not have to share whether you know the answer or not, but is that (sunlight and glass door in particular) meant to be taken in the literal sense or is it open for interpretation? I believe I understand and feel every line of this piece except for that line unless it was meant in the literal sense. There's only one other interpretation that it is going through my mind at the moment, but I am not quite sure. Anyway, just thinking out loud. I really appreciate the next two lines,
"Illuminates all our obvious
But like the words you let escape" that really speaks to me even though I'm pondering about the sunlight and the glass door which brings another interpretation to my mind now that I think of it.

I loved this piece from the serious tone and cleverly written opening right of the bat to the excellent flow (per usual) which conveys so many emotions from sadness to emptiness, feeling of lamentation, and a powerful ending that just hits hard. Perhaps I'm interpreting this piece very differently compared to your writing and potentially experiencing it, but I think it's wonderful nonetheless and very well written and expressed. Pleasure to read, thank you.

[LapseOfMind]

The sunlight on the glass door was meant to be literal. I was sitting on the patio and the sun was shining on the sliding glass door. I watched it as that door is what separated me from my wife. At the time we were not happy with each other and that door, that separation between us, spoke volumes of how we felt at that moment. Thank you again for taking the time to read and review my work. I'm glad that you enjoyed it and only hope I can continue to write that which you enjoy. Thank you again!

[Lost, n'MT]

I thought I might be overthinking it, but the literal meaning makes the most sense and completes what I had initially thought. Another powerful piece that can be really felt, and I appreciate you sharing and explaining some of the your thought process that went into it to. The way you express yourself is commendable, and your writing is so smooth and impactful that is a pleasure to read which I truly enjoy and will continue to look forward to. You're welcome, your skills continue to impress me as I've read your pieces from the past few years. Great work!

[Usman Muhammad]

I don't know much about the poetry and its rules but I liked your poem. It is very deep and I lied the theme of the poem.
Nicely written.
Keep writing.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I appreciate it.