Anxiety

It's about a boy.

Why did I do that?

Why did I do that?

My breath hitches and my heart skips a beat.

I am an idiot.

Why did I believe you?

When you said those things.

Those things you said.

They envelope my body and fill every crevice.

They intoxicate my brain.

Why didn't I do that?

Why didn't I do that?

My train of thought is running in circles and I feel like jumping out of my body.

I am a coward.

Why didn't you talk me into it?

You didn't say the things I needed to hear,

Those things that comfort me in my time of need.

They were the words that I am choking on now.

They penetrate the air we breathe.  

Now, you're standing there longing for me and I am speechless.

Those words you wanted to say but never did are now suffocating the both of us

and we don't know what to do since neither of us had a clue that it would end this way.

The way where you walk left and I walk right and our paths never cross again

We never pictured a life without each other but that was a fantasy and this is a reality.

Neither of us could say the things we really needed to hear

and because of that you're over there and I am waiting in fear.

Fear that one day our paths will cross again but your eyes will have darkened and your hair will be styled different.

Fear that one day your sarcasm will no longer have an affect on me and I will seem rock hard.

Fear that one day I will be the cowardly idiot that watched you waltz away and didn't even say what I was thinking.