Strawberry Cream Cheese

Strawberry Cream Cheese

A Poem by Libby Carsons

“Strawberry Cream Cheese”

 

I drank your words,

Believing they were as sweet

As the strawberry cream cheese

That colored my bagel,

The night we shared secrets,

 

Only to discover,

Their stale artificiality,

That left a bitter aftertaste
On my tongue.

© 2013 Libby Carsons


Author's Note

Libby Carsons
Feedback would be lovely :)

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

What you should do is make sure is Philadelphia strawberry cream cheese and not the generic kind, because it tends to leave an after taste.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Comparing his words to strawberry cream cheese is a fresh comparison. Using that descriptor really provides a specific flavor and sweetness for his words. Also, the line about sharing secrets adds a very personal layer to this one. The moment you shared very real pieces of yourself, and you were vulnerable.

I like the contrast that the second half creates. In a way, I'm reminded of occasions where I have bitten into a bagel and found that it was stale. But that's taking things too literally here. Your metaphor suggests this person, with his sweet words, was actually a fake. That discovery is something I'm sure that we all can relate to. I like what you have built here, and I will send you a personal message with a small suggestion.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Libby Carsons

6 Years Ago

i received your message and thank you so much for the time you have taken for giving feedback!! i th.. read more
Clockwork

6 Years Ago

You're welcome, I'm glad it helped :-)
I love this! Partially because I looooove strawberry cream cheese. But, also because this so sweet and simply put. I like how straigthforward it is. Lovely comparison.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Libby Carsons

6 Years Ago

Thank you! It means a lot!
I like it. Honestly too. You have skill :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Libby Carsons

6 Years Ago

that means so much thanks!
A wonderful write, interesting idea how bitter lies can be...great job

Posted 6 Years Ago


Libby Carsons

6 Years Ago

thank youu!!
well, that's a nice write, it's a good one pretty. words're lovely, i think you've got bitter taste of ice cream...lol, but don't worry you're under water on your walla pice. so, it think you can wash that bitterness..lol.
that's a lovely write, words got me. I think the idea to write...to drop here's unique.
Well. it's reality, i'm sure...omg..........i can't see you with such kinda bitterness pretty on your tougue, so, i'll wish that bitter'll come to you on your whole mouth too....lol
(no offense, just kiddin')lol
that's a lovely write, i liked this one pretty.
nice flow of ink.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Libby Carsons

6 Years Ago

hahah thanks so much for your time!
wowsers libby! great write!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Libby Carsons

6 Years Ago

glad you think so! thanks!
beautiful dreamer

6 Years Ago

you are soooooo welcome :)

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

375 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 9, 2013
Last Updated on July 15, 2013
Tags: Bagels, Love, strawberry

Author

Libby Carsons
Libby Carsons

Brooklyn, NY



About
I'm a student studying in New York, studying interior design and trying to find the meaning of passion. On what it really means to feel it, to be affected by it. Wondering if writing is my passion. I.. more..

Writing