Birds of Ash

This is about the rise, fall and rebirth of the mythical bird the phoenix. Hope you all enjoy.

Form of smoke
Heart of fire
A demon bird
Flying higher

Eyes are perfect
Hearing sharp
Cry as beautiful
As the music of a harp

Gossamer feathers
Wings of ash
Trailing higher
The forming winds clash

Allure of the sun
Flying higher, risking death
Bird of innocence
Can almost feel the sun's breath

Too close now it comes
He bursts into flames
The phoenix is no more
He will play no more games

But rising from the ashes
The phoenix now stands
Forever searching
For new, foriegn lands

Author's Note

Feel free to give criticism on this one. Any suggestions for improvement would be appreciated as well as what you liked about the piece.

Reviews

[perfectlyadapted]

Very nice imagery here. I agree with Neva - it'll give a better flow.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Absolutely beautiful, the only thing I would change is to remove some of your the's......it is even more wonderful when some of them are removed. Well done