Amberline

A haunting ghost story told in poetry. See authors note for context.

Amberline

(A ghost story in poetry)

By 

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

Cry, baby, cry 

till there's no more tears to weep 

Rest, baby, rest 

As I cradle you to sleep

Yet 'pon the sheets I glare

for there's nothing even there

Because in your crib I see

A child made of memory 

And resting on a windowsill 

a crow doth stand so still

and Mimics in its breath 

an infant in its death

Wailing, wailing, into scream

Murder of crows that haunt my dream 

What secrets that they hold

These nattering beasts amongst the fold

Upon ghostly vile winter tree

They flock and gaze so wickedly 

Author's Note

(Addendum: I want to recognize an amazing writer here in the community W. Barrett Munn who helped improve this piece by the addition of an extra verse which I feel made a major impact. Thank you my friend I truly appreciate your valued recommendation and advice. This truly is a wonderful community of amazing writers and friends. ) This haunting little screed was inspired by a dream a few months back. I also feel it deals with the trope that is common in short horror ghost fiction. Where a mother kills her baby and is haunted by her actions. May also speak to postpartum depression. The dream I had was seeing a young girl rocking on a chair holding an empty bundle of a pink blanket in her arms. While outside by her bedroom window is a lone ash tree empty of leaves but covered on every branch with crows. Who are capable of mimicking sound. All of them begin to cry like a baby in unison. I woke up from it in total terror because the screams slowly turned into a wicked devilish cackle. I feel the tale is more ominous and may allude to even more darker unspeakable evils. I can only guess and I feel it's a bit ambiguous to where the readers mind can imagine more to its possibilities. A nice little gothic haunting piece for this dread filled month. CLE

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

You're dark Carlos. I'd call you somewhat creepy if I didn't know better.

It's good for any month but I do wish I read this a couple weeks ago.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you David I take that as a huge compliment because in many ways you are right. I'm a huge Lovecraft and Poe fan. Their work tends to have a large influence on much of my writing. And most of the time I find a level of comfort in writing more on the darker sides of life. This poem had a sense of dread that even I was shivering a bit during its composition. Believe me when I say this poem is a lot more darker than it appears. I had to remove a couple of stanzas because they were a bit too explicit in their cruelty and trauma leading towards its ending. In the end hinting and being a bit ambiguous felt the way to go. Thank you so much again for your comment. I really appreciate it.

[Davidgeo]

You are creepy carlos. But it's cool man. You could be worse. Most people are, if you get them alone, very strange animals. Why do you think incest porn is o popular? Because people are normal? Ha! Everyone's crazy.

[Soren]

This is a haunting piece. Dreams are inspirational and I believe hold archetypes and symbols that go far deeper than the literal dream. This poem is chilling in many ways and the first thing that jumped straight out was Poe's "The Raven" Although very different, it held some of the same gothic appeal. A sense of terror regarding the unknown and possibly suppressed memories better left buried. Denial, a privative defense mechanism, quite appropriate for a primal sense of terror.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Soren for your comment on this poem. This eerie piece does send a bit of shivers even to me. Poe and Lovecraft tend to have a bit of influence in some of my more haunting writing. I love the horror genre so much. It really peaks my creative side so much. CLE

[Toni.S]

Wow!!! Another great writing. Your explanation for this writing could totally fit into one of Steven King's movies. Again your ability to create a great metaphor is outstanding "And resting on a windowsill
a crow doth stand so still. "And Mimics in its breath an infant in its death." Continue to create great pieces of Art.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. This one still kind of stays on my mind. It is an eerie poetic tale in general. But I can't imagine the horror it it were ever real. Like a young girl who becomes a mother in the late 1800s who accidentally smothers her baby to death as she sleeps with it in bed. Than being haunted by the cries she used to hear. Especially when that sound is being mimicked by a bird. Absolutely terrifying and sad. Amberline haunts me.

[Ken e Bujold]

a poe of a poem, great read.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Ken for your comment on this poem. October is my favorite time of the year and tends to inspire my more darker writing. And as a huge fan of Poe, Lovecraft, and King I can't help but try to bring the same terror and horror they so masterfully do in their work. Which I so admire and aspire towards as a simple novice writer. CLE

[keith]

gothic haunting piece
you got it toyota

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Keith I appreciate it. October is my favorite time of year because it really sparks up the imagination and inspires me to work on my favorite genre of writing which is horror. This poem was brought to life by a dream I had. I thought at first writing it as a story but wanted to challenge myself into creating it as a poem. I'm really happy with the results because it almost has a nursery ryhme type feel to it that both has horror and dread. And as a fan of both Lovecraft and Poe it is what I yearn for in my writing. CLE

[keith]

you done it good friend!
aaaahhhhhhhhh ... poe!

the pendulum doth swing to and fro anticipating the shock the raven will feel when it makes it's mark! all we need now is an iron skillet oil bird & fire ... bingo!

[John Prophet]

So glad it was not autobiographical. You usual excellence.
JP

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you JP for your thoughts on this poem. I can't imagine the possibility of this ever being true, or at least I hope. But as human beings we have often proved the unbelievable is truly possible when it comes to our vile nature. Even it it is unintentional. How many times are we told urban legends about depressed mothers placing their babies in ovens or microwaves. Amberline speaks to the power of these myths, and some more true than fiction. Thank you so much again my friend. CLE

[Lydia Shutter]

Horrifying concept here....an empty crib. Every parent's nightmare! A murder of crows....great use of this. The dream that sparked this poetry must have been quite jarring! Well written. Lydi**

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Lydi. Indeed it was though I kind of blame it on my stress and also a neighbor whose newborn child is always crying. Those two things more than likely attributed to this poem coming to life in a dream. It also kind of brought back an old memory I had as a child that I frequently dreamed about as well. Back in 1965 as a baby my mother bathed me in a sink and left to answer the phone. I was scalded by hot water which she realized her mistake as she ran back to see why her baby was screaming in a harrowing cry. I have some scars from the incident and often wondered why thinking they were perhaps birthmarks. Years later after describing a constant dream I was having did my mom finally admit the truth. Dreams are so powerful that they hold aspects of memory we ourselves may not be aware of. It makes for a haunting ghost story. CLE

[Lydia Shutter]

My goodness...your mom must have felt horrible that she did that. Such an unintentional accident. Yes, dreams often reveal things that are just below the surface of consciousness.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

infant death...devastating and so unfair.
the raven looks on...
it is definitely a midnight dreary.
j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

My little celebrational piece for the haunting month of October. My favorite time of year. I'm looking forward to reading everyone's scary addition to this year's spooky month. From all the talented writers here in this amazing community I know I will not be disappointed. Thank you kindly J for sharing your thoughts with me. CLE

[emily]

the diction is very poe-esque. love it

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you kindly Emily. With Poe and Lovecraft being my writing inspirations I so appreciate the kind words. I love October because of its spooky and dread filled atmosphere this time of year. It always inspires my wicked side. My writer's eye has always had an appreciation for the darker side of life. I feel it's appeal tends to best reflect who we truly are as human beings. Thank you kindly again. CLE

[Dave Brown]

a touchy subject which calls for real finesse even at this horror-able time of year
nicely done

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

thank you Dave for sharing your thoughts and giving me a bit of a chuckle there lol. I have to admit every time I read your satirical pieces of poetry I want so bad to write something funny. And then when I attempt to I always find myself going totally in the opposite direction. Humor and wit is a gift not everyone has. I feel it's a talent that most writers would die to have. Me included my friend. Thank you for all you give us here in this community. I know this is on my page lol but I can't thank you enough for the humorous work you always give us. Both in wit and wisdom. CLE

[Dave Brown]

Too generous