Dark

Black. Cold. Quiet. Endless.

I'm staring out. And you pull me back in.

I turned out the lights.

And I tiptoed on the edge of paranoia until I felt your warmth.




You once asked me why I was afraid of the dark.

And I got lost inside myself.

Trying to find a valid reason to dismiss such a childish fear.

A fear that I myself didn't even fully comprehend

Because the truth is...




I'm not afraid of the dark.

Absence of light has never caused my skin to crawl.

If anything, I find myself drawn to it.

Drawn to the mystery of a dark cave

Drawn to the night and all it holds

Drawn to the dark colors of your eyes and every dark secret they hold captive




I am not afraid of what is in the dark.

There is nothing to be found within the endless abyss that you cannot save me from with just your voice.

Every monster, every demon, every dark thought- erased when you say my name.

Every syllable that rolls off your tongue sends them further and further into the void.

Every word you speak sounds like home.




I am not afraid of getting lost. 

Not afraid of feeling blind to what's around me

Not when I can close my eyes and see your face playing on a projector behind my eyelids.

Not when I know that your warmth, your body, your comfort, is laying waiting for me.

Not when I know that home is so close.




I am not afraid of the quiet

of the only sound being my racing thoughts

But I can hear a loud ringing in my ears 

And I can hear my heart beating in my chest

And I remember the countless nights your heartbeat sang me to sleep.




Because the truth is,

I am afraid of the unknown.

I am afraid that you will not be there when i crawl back into bed.

I am afraid that within those few seconds, you will have vanished.

Or worse; 

I am afraid you will not be you.

I am afraid that you will be someone I don't remember the name of.

A human shell serving as a holding place until you come back to me.

Until you bring back the light.

And I am afraid that I will wake without your arms around me.

That I will wake to endure the cold atmosphere alone.




But most of all, 

I am afraid that in the darkness I will find that it was all a dream.

That I will wake to find myself alone, 

and you will be miles away

with some other girl

Not even thinking about me.

not even dreaming of me.