Gods Answers?

Excitation and Stimulation Actively striving for a goal rather than simply responding.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erich_Fromm

Something awful happened in my past, many things actually.  I started seeing a connection to it all about four years ago.  Before that I was just a vegetable, a living breathing vegetable.  I gave birth to children but I was no longer raising them.  I was a daughter to a sick Mother and I could not help her find peace in her older years.  I was a sister to brother and sister who tried with all their hearts to understand me, but how could they, I could not understand myself.  I was an abuser and an abusee.

 

I guess the change came when my husband died.  I noticed I was going out drinking again and after already being down that road decided to just stop.  I didn't deal with it, hell I didn't even acknowledge it, I just quit...for seven or eight years I took not one drink.  Problem was  I had become sober to find that I no longer felt comfortable in this world.  Slowly, but surely, I became exactly what I saw around me at all times...a monster.  The worse part of my life has been I could see the monster I was becomming, at times, just glimpses, but as usual I never trusted myself.  And so that is how I lived my life disconnected from myself, my family, reality...really I had nothing left to lose when I decided maybe I should pray, maybe there was a God....and I think, seeing all the miracles in my own personal life that maybe God has answered, I just haven't received the full message yet....

Reviews

[Desert Dreamer]

An inspirational story! I think our culture encourages us all to be disconnected, and it is hard to be happy when we are disconnected. Once we start to see, the world is never the same again. As for me, I started looking around and I found myself reflected in everything, I realize that we are all part of nature.

[Norma M Sutton]

No we are all works in progress :) Lovely expression of being human.

[Reza Farahmand]

nicely done! i really think you are making it. they way you put it into words excited me, although it's just the begining. i assure you that God will answer everybody's call. He is the one who hears and grants if it is for your good. break a leg!

[beatles fan]

It is funny how we think we are all so different and yet we are so similar. I too had a awakening of a kind but mine was a positive kind so I understand because our life was backwards. I can draw from your writing and tell you from my time longer in the hell hole that there is escape. We never all quite get the full message we take the joy we can and deal with the pain when need be and live a great dash. The dash an in born 1875-1968.

[Miss unknown]

I can see the process of thinking in this piece.
Sometimes we just have not paid much attention when God has already given us the answer because of all the desires and distractions we have.
I hope you can find the answer from God soon.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
I hope your journey ends with you finding
your own truth.

[Michael Todd]

Luciddreamer,
I am at that spiritual crossroad right now. I want something more to this life. I want to understand it and I want to love and to feel peace. I am consciously taking steps to look for God. I don't know what that means. I guess I will just continue with the journey and see what happens.
thanks
Mike

[.]

a honest stream of thought..we sometimes struggle with the meaning of our lives and stare into the abyss wondering if anyone is staring back..God answers..its whether we are ready to listen..

[Tony]

I love the way this author is constantly seeking Truth.
While we may never know the truth, short of death, it seems prudent and fulfilling, this practice.
Thanks for sharing, Robin.