Bouquet

The flowers died on Thursday.

I watched them wither, turn brown,

            And slowly mold to grey.

 

The petals fell overnight.

I counted them as they dropped  

            Silently out of sight.

 

The stems rotted on Saturday.

They were slimy and brown, but

            The stench gave it away.

 

On Sunday, without a doubt

I grabbed the vase and

            I threw you out.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i like the imagery and personifications ... so relatable ..haven't we all neglected our flowers and suddenly they are all brown and slimy ... for me the closing line feels abrupt .. not sure you need to tell us explicitly that you are talking about a person .. the message is so clear in my opinion, that "I threw them out" would be sufficient .. but hey ... thats just me ;) title sets the scene .. we start out in the honeymoon phase .. then things begin to fade, decay and crumble ... throwing them out is sometimes the hardest yet most healthy thing we can do ... i think the rhythm of your lines is easy to follow .. i think the metaphor/personifications is strong and clear ... :)
E.

[barleygirl]

The reason I love this msg is becuz I've always thought picking flowers is a dumb idea. I have a profuse garden, but I never pick flowers. They get so ugly after being picked. I love the way you describe the ugliness with intense bluntness, which really satisfies, becuz of how yukky it feels to deal with the aftermath of somebody's well-intentioned bouquet. Thank you for friend request so I could find your writing. You are very enjoyable to read (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

love the last verse where you threw the flowers out, that was your start your new beginning, I love your poem!

[luvs2write]

Thank you!

[wordman]

sounds a lot like life,or what we make of it,,feelings from a lost love maybe

[luvs2write]

Thanks for the review

[wordman]

you`re welcome