A friend once said to me when I was a bit down: "tell me, what isn't there to live for? you are confident and intellegant. Think of the money you could make! You could strive to be a highly successful bussinessman. Imagine the achievements and awards waiting for you! He was a positive and optimistic person, ever smiling and his laughter would bring us all in and we could share it's bliss.
2 years prior
We were all there last night, him with his jet black hair and penetrating blue eyes, he was a
friend's friend. I did not like him, and he not me. But, we managed to keep it civil whenever
we found ourselves around eachother. I am not sure why I didn't like him, not actually sure
if I had a reason at all, it just was.
As I walked down the broken driveway, I looked to my left and found an old 80's lotus, white,
a nice car, almost pristine condition. I continued on noting a couple more refurbished older
make and model cars all looking impressive in their own rights. Finally I reached the run
down garage, it was the garage of a middleclass family, it wasn't bad, but it definitely
wasn't great. All the usual junk was pushed to the side and hid behind a curtain. A rusty and
beaten tabletennis table was situated in the middle of the floor with some lesser couches
spralled out around it.
Comfortable.
A good place for a nice quite birthday.
Being one of the first to arrive, I got the ice and filled the bathtub out the back, started
stacking the beers making sure to hide the good ones. This night should be a good one. As the
people started to arrive I helped to show them around, which didn't take long and after no time
at all everyone had turned up and the poker game got going. Me? I was the dealer, purely by
choice. It is against my stingey nature to risk money and anyway I am good with cards.
Towards the end of the game the birthday boy finally hit the front (with only a little help),
everyone was laughing having a great time.
As the game wound down the pizza was ordered and the ever irratating ping pong was sounding
throughout the garage. During this crazy and beer sodden night I had successfully managed to
limit my conversation to that guy to a: "Hey, Hows things?" and a:"Not too bad, going along
well". Just the general plesantries. But now the evening was wearing on and the energy levels
dying down. It was D&M time, the serious conversations were coming out. The "what are going
doing after school this year?" and the "How do you think you will go with this year?" the two
most talked about topics of the year. I managed to get caught up in a conversation with him
about such questions and it didn't take long to ask myself why I had an innate dislike for
this guy. He seemed good and genuine, but gut feelings are gut feelings and damn hard to
deny.
The pizza was wearing thin and a couple of people left, it was definite winding down time.
However, the music was still blaring and the screams and shouts of over exicted or frustrated
people still filled the air and I had moved on to more comfortable conversations with my
friends and the birthday boy. It was near to midnight when my phone rang. It was my mum, she
was outside waiting for me. I quickly got to my feet, mum wasn't the type to keep waiting,
said goodnight to those around me. When I said a general goodnight to everyone else, at that
stage it was probably only ten people or so, I got no response. No one had heard me. Not
surprising though, after all I am generally a quite person. When I said it again a little
louder to still no reaction, I was going to just ditch, I had said night to the birthday boy
that was all the mattered. So I turned to leave.
That is when I heard him. He yelled across the room: "Hey! Guys! Macca is going!". He managed
to get everyone's attention. I could see a hint of a smile creep across his face and he
nodded his head. He definitely wasn't as bad as I and thought him to be. He was indeed a nice
guy and kind hearted as I found out later. Saying my farewells I left. I was happy, quite a
feat during what is the most pressure filled year of schooling.
The next morning I woke at midday still a little hungover and groggy from the night before.
After going downstairs and grabbing a bite to eat, I switched on my computer, as soon as I
logged into msn, a message popped up from a friend. I nearly fainted. I am not normally very
emotional. Actually I am naturally quite distant and remote. This however
rattled my bones. My only response to the news was: "this is some kind of joke right". But,
of course it wasn't. People at my school might love jokes and mucking around, however, none
would go this far, this was a line that just wasn't crossed. The my first thought was to ring
the birthday boy and make sure he was ok, well as ok as he could be. One of his best mates
had just died the night of his birthday.
It was the middle of the mid-year break that his funeral was held. ninety percent of the
students in our year level turned up. He hadn't been that popular, but we had lost one of our
own. All in school uniform we made an honour guard as his best mates and family carried him
out of our glorious chapel. It was a sight etched into the hearts and minds of all that were
there.
A freak accident claimed the life of that boy, so young he was. A trip, a fall and a hit head
and such was life. A man I had seen but a few hours before brimming with happiness, radiating
joy. A friend, new maybe, but a friend nonetheless. Life can be short.
So I told that friend of mine: "The question is not about striving, achieveing or about what
to live for. The question is about what makes you happy. Because in this life of randomness
anything can happen, will happen. When it does, you want to be happy. Happy about your life
and with your life. Everything else is secondary." I turned my back and walked away, letting
him ponder those words.