Hell of Fire and Ice

Hell of Fire and Ice

A Poem by To be scene To be heard

All alone...

In this hell..

Fire licking my skin.

Piercing screams.

          Claws riping at my flesh.


Consumes me.

Whats happening?

Its so cold.

Am i no longer in hell?

Tears drop like hail.

Clasping a tear with my tarnish hand.

Carving a heart.

Dropping to my knees.

Life fading from me.

Snow makeing a blanket.

Layed apon me.

Slowly dieing inside and out.




© 2012 To be scene To be heard

Author's Note

To be scene To be heard
it might not make since to you but it makes perfect since to me....

My Review

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Yeah, there is something different about it. I wouldn't say it doesn't make sense to me, maybe I just don't see where you are coming from with this idea. If there is something personal that made you write that, then that's awesome. I would love to know your inspiration for this though. There are some misspellings and I would want to point them out to you if you don't know which ones I am addressing.

"Claws riping at my flesh"--did you mean **ripping**

"Its so cold"-----that should be used as a contraction. **It's so cold** see how it changes the meaning.

"Snow makeing me a blanket"---**Snow making me a blanket**

"Layed upon me"---**Laid upon me.**

"Slowly dieing inside and out."---**Slowly dying inside and out.**

Side note: Awesome creativity!

Posted 6 Years Ago

i believe poems are meant to leave you wondering leaving an impact and making you think about them good job

Posted 8 Years Ago

Ok, so there are some misspellings but you can fix them, just read again your poem :), the poem itself is amazing a great collection of vivid images, i found curious the idea of a "cold (freezing, actually) part" of the hell, it is actually the same idea Dante had hundreds years ago :) He thought of a hell where some parts were very hot (smoking hot) others were very cold (freezing).

Posted 8 Years Ago

Strong emotion gave life to the poem. I like the description. Create vision of heat then coldness. No weakness in the poem. Good use of thoughts and emotion to make the poem a very good read. Thank you for the excellent poetry.

Posted 8 Years Ago

It makes sense. It's got a melancholy rhythm to it, but it's not pitiful. The words are simple, straightforward, and very clear in what you mean. The confused emotions are evident, and the ending is strong. Well penned. Thank you.

Posted 8 Years Ago

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5 Reviews
Added on June 16, 2012
Last Updated on June 17, 2012

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