Agent Starshine Agency

Oh no/ running outta pictures!

Smile shine. Teeth bright. 
Wolfing down the morning spill.
Beautiful butterflies.
Selfish look there in those eyes.
Distance blooming from my outstanding grand piano lies.
They say I’m just acting.
But I just like pretending
And I never knew that I could feel this way.
It’s like being out of body, out of touch, untouchable in the safest ways.

You sometimes have to imagine life in order to one day experience it.

Reviews

[r. f. jordan]

i love the use of rhyme on this, and the grand piano line is deeply original.

[fr luna]

I think this one starts out really, really strong. I wonder how much thought you give to these sonic features 'cos there really similar to the features in "Do what ppl tell you." You build this really cool rhythm which gets side-tracked, so to speak, by "outstanding." I think "outstanding" interrupts the relationship between lines 1, 3, and 5 (though i really shouldn't pick on one word... and it's late and i'm tired so who knows if i'm making sense).

I'm not trying to suggest edits—just my opinion that adjectives and adverbs are tricky.

line two is the best.

[Laura Maidah]

the hell

[Laura Maidah]

Edit: /oh thanks for the review

This is a noob site. Join writersbeat.com so you don't get spammed with pictures of me and newbie poems.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Would that it were true... alas. Keep pretending, you know what they say about self-actualization. Doesn't work for me but who knows, you might be one of the lucky ones. Nice lines. :)

[Laura Maidah]

OKay why is that luck?

How did you catch self-actualisation out of this?

:)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

I don't mean this to be adversarial or derogatory. I have no doubt that I have totally missed the point of everything of yours that I have read thus far. It is simply my interpretation of your words.. but that is all I have to go on without a shared context. Self-actualization is or can be a form of pretending, similar to acting; in some ways almost the same, depending on the definitions used. When we want something and believe that we can attain that something - make it happen by force-of-will or perhaps that and affirmative action. In so doing we become self-actualizing. My comment leans more on the last line of the writing.. the antithesis is that if we do not or cannot imagine life that we may miss the experience. That has not been my personal experience. There are many things in life that I have experienced and which I did not imagine nor could have imagined before experiencing them. However, I'm pretty sure as written you are implying that, for example, if you can't imagine a better life for yourself then you won't know what to look, to strive for. Some think it is possible to self-actualize these things; to make them happen through force of will and positive action. However, even if one can imagine the goal, it doesn't necessarily mean it will be attained. Often it is more a matter of "luck." That is why that is luck.. to me. Please forgive my limited understanding of your work.

[Laura Maidah]

y comment leans more on the last line of the writing.. the antithesis is that if we do not or cannot imagine life that we may miss the experience.

"Yikes what is real anymore."

"Often it is more a matter of "luck." That is why that is luck.. to me. P"

What is the luck aspect? Beautiful that you did not imagine past stuff. !