Luring Temptation

Luring Temptation

A Poem by marty360
"

A poem of a lost, wondering soul in the wake of the day.

"
A mind full of wonder,
A heart full of despair,
A soul full of compassion,
With no one to share.

I've been to heaven, and back,
Crossed the Sahara sands,
Even fought the Seven Seas,
But yet I still can't find that one person,
Who loves me, for me.

Oh mind,
Why dost thou tempt me,
With a night of pleasant dreams,
But when I lay in my chamber,
Thoughts are all that teem.

I try again, to rest my mind,
And slow the beating of my heart,
Lift the lid off my soul,
And for a few brief hours; from this world
--- I depart.

© 2013 marty360


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Reviews

It's hard to find that special someone. Very understandable. I really enjoyed this piece. It had a really good flow. Keep up the good work.

-Mak(:

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mak(ayla:)

7 Years Ago

You're most welcome. How about let love come to you, instead you searching for it. Just give it time.. read more
marty360

7 Years Ago

Yeah, I've learnt that over the years and let it find me now. But I find waiting is a pursuit in its.. read more
Mak(ayla:)

7 Years Ago

It sure is(:

-Mak(:
i could throw all the old euphemisms at you, you know, like...a watched pot never boils, or a rolling stone gathers no moss, but you already know this....it is estimable and proven that when one seeks love or tries to force the hand of kismet....it doesn't work....so i will leave you with this wisdom...chance favors the prepared mind and good things come to those who wait....love, she is a stinker! excellent write, dear marty

Posted 8 Years Ago


marty360

8 Years Ago

It is what I decided to do after I wrote this (about 5 years ago), I gave up in trying to seek love .. read more
quinfinn

8 Years Ago

always a pleasure!
I love the fast pace of the first stanza, it reflects the mind racing with so many different emotions wonderfully. You have a lovely way with words :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

marty360

8 Years Ago

That was the thing I was aiming to do with the first stanza, thank you for noticing :).
Thank.. read more
Sarah Conder

8 Years Ago

No problem, I will do :)
The tittle jumped out at me, and you've certainly gotten the desired effect with changing the language stlye.
I felt the drifting of the write. Another splendid piece

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is your best piece (I skimmed over your works!). Simple, sad, effective, and quite universal and resonant.

My only criticism is that the "Why dost thou temp me" line - first of all, the temp/tempt typo, but mostly because it's out of place and seems contrived compared to the rest of the poem.

Posted 8 Years Ago


marty360

8 Years Ago

Yes that is a typo. I type them down on my iPad and get rather quick at typing to the point I do mak.. read more
Sarah Khalil

8 Years Ago

Gladly. Looking forward to your feedback and future works!
marty360

8 Years Ago

Why thank you :).

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240 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 24, 2013
Last Updated on June 4, 2013
Tags: Lost, lonely, single, luring, temptation

Author

marty360
marty360

Bradford/Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom



About
21 years of age. Studying Global Business Management at university and I am in my final year of study. Plan on moving to America after my degree so you may see a lot of American themed pieces or pie.. more..

Writing
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A Poem by marty360