It is time

It is Time

PALACE OF WHITEHALL 1557

I am on my way to have morning supper with the queen, Catherine Parr and my dear friend, Edward. It has been a while since we came together. I see Edward fast approaching, along with his men trailing behind him, from the opposite direction of the hallway. I sigh. You are never alone when you are a royal. We meet and I notice that he is ill.

“You caught a cold.” I say with deep concern.

“Well, I am feeling rather cold since it has been a very chilly winter this year.” he jests. I frown.

 “I was not referring to that cold, you fool.” I say with a hint of annoyance and slapping him on the chest.

“Well if you are referring to this blasted little illness that I refuse to acknowledge, then yes.”

“You have not seen your physician, have you?”

“Naturally.”

I exasperatedly sigh, and he chuckles a bit.

“You fret too much, Mary.” He tells me nonchalantly as he walks past me. He can be so careless. I shook my head in disappointment.   

We arrive at one of the queen’s chambers, where supper will be served. We bow to Her Majesty and she graciously acknowledges our presence. She then invites us to take our seats and we start to eat.

Her Majesty frets about Edward’s cold and then reprimands him for not seeing a physician. I, of course, told her that little information. I earned a glare from Edward for that, which I just giggled at. He deserves it for not paying attention to his health.

We enthusiastically converse about our days. We laughed and we joked. How I love having supper with them! Ever since Edward and I were children, we would always have morning supper with her. Well, whenever she would come visit us. Royal children did not always stay at the same residence or palace as the king and queen.

We are currently having another round of laughter until Edward breaks it. “Your Majesty, why exactly did you invite us for morning supper?” Edward politely asks the queen, sobering from his laughter. Her Majesty smiles. “I just want spend some time with you children. We have not gotten together in such a long time. You have been busy taking on the king’s duties, and Mary has been indulging so much on her studies. I did not want to intrude.”  

“Madam, please do not make us oblivious to the situation.” Edward says, not believing the queen’s statement.

There is tension that begins to grow.

Her Majesty’s smile falters as if she is caught. She takes a drink of her drink. “You are such a clever boy, Edward” she says as if she is proud and nervous.    

            

I look at the queen intently as I await on what she has to say. “I did not want to tell you the news this early in our supper. I just want you to be at ease before you loath me for what I have to say.”

            

“Madam, we do not have the heart to loath you. Please say what you have to say.” I reassuringly tell her.

There is a pause.  Her Majesty clears her throat.

“It is the king’s order that you are to be wed in three days time.” she tells us.

            

Too say that I am not surprised is an understatement. I take a deep breath and I notice Edward’s knuckles turning white. I put my hand over his and he clutches it.

“Three days time?” I manage to ask in disbelief. “How can this be? Has my mother been informed about this?” I add. His Majesty gets more foolish as time goes by. He is going to be a lunatic once he is on his deathbed! Edward reverses our hands’ position and he puts his over mine.

 “Why the brash decision?” Edward then asks. By his tone, he is evidently upset.

“It is one of his dying wishes to see you wed. He knows he will expire soon. He just wants to be assured that you are prepared to take the throne, by having a queen by your side, to secure Scotland to England, to secure the throne. He has worked hard for this. You must understand.” Her Majesty replies with a hint of sorrow and pleading. So he wants to have his last “hoorah!”

“Why? Am I still not prepared to take the throne, madam?” Edward lividly asks. I can sense his rage slowly boiling in him.

“Of course you are! I utterly believe that you are very much ready to assume the throne. But you know your father. He wants security. Should you be in his position, you would want the same for your son.” The queen justifies.

“Yes, but not at his dignity’s expense.”

I squeeze Edward’s hand.

 “When was this decision made?” I intervene.  

“A week ago”

“I would have preferred to be informed of my own wedding as soon as it was decided upon. Why did you wait until three days before the wedding to inform us?” Edward asks, forgetting that he is addressing the queen.

“Am I not informing you about the matter? Young man, although you have every right to be infuriated right now, it still gives you no right to show disrespect.” Her Majesty reprimands. Edward does not reply and looks away.

 “Forgive him, milady.” I apologize.

“It is fine. I cannot blame you for having such reactions.” Her Majesity replies with a hint of disappointment.

Supper almost immediately ends after receiving the good news. Please note my sarcasm. We pay our respects to the queen and we leave. Once we are out, Edward rushes to a very familiar direction, to the garden. Gardens are the places he goes to when troubles come his way. I follow him in my own pace.

I do find him in the garden, standing tall with his back facing me. I go to his side and see that his eyes are closed. It is like he is meditating.  

            “You know this day would come. We both know it.” I tell him.

“I apologize for your misfortunes.” He sincerely tells me.

            “You do not have to apologize for your father’s lunacy. I have accepted the fact already.” I say and we both laugh.  

            “We have to do what we have to do, Mary. It is our duty.” Edward says in defeat.  

            I look at Edward and he is looking at me, I can see the remorse in his eyes. It is not my duty to be married, it is his. He has to do this to legitimize English claim to Scotland.

“No, it is your duty. I am just a pawn.” I correct him.

Truthfully speaking, I do not mind being married to Edward. He is good, intelligent, principled, caring, humorous, and somehow charming. Any girl would be fortunate to have Edward as their betrothed. He would make a fine husband for sure. It is just our complex circumstances.

            But no matter how good of a person Edward is, I still want to rule Scotland as its rightful ruler and not as a consort to the king of England. I am and always will be its queen. It is my birthright.

            “How unfortunate you are.”

            “Well, that is my life.”

We both sigh.  

            “I shall appeal to His Majesty about the wedding. I shall ask him to at least move the wedding for another month.” Edward tells me with determination. He gives me a kiss on the forehead, reassuring me that he will fix this.

            The days pass by quickly and it is our wedding day. Edward was unsuccessful convincing His Majesty about the wedding. He was even reprimanded for it. The king was stubborn as he always is. To make matters worse, my mother is forbidden to attend the wedding but at least they had the decency to send her a letter regarding the wedding. Her Majesty was kind enough to offer to stand-in for my mother.

I am now ready to head to the chapel, where the ceremony will be held. My ladies are just clearing up when there is a sudden knock on my door. One of my ladies attends to it and she shortly comes back. “Your Highness, it is Prince Edward. He wishes to speak with you.” She tells me.

            “That boy surely does not know that it is bad luck to see the bride before their wedding.” Her Majesty jests and I giggle. Well he is Edward, he disregards superstition.

            “Send him in” I say and my lady attends to my order.

            Edward comes in and is all ready for the ceremony. He is dressed in a white doublet with silver embroidery and golden buttons, a golden necklace with a ruby pendant, a gold belt, white breeches that have the same design as his doublet. He also wears white hose (which is worn beneath his breaches), and white shoes. He has a deep violet coat with thick golden trimmings along its tips and sides, and is lined with white fur. The trimmings are sewn with various jewels. Edward does not wear his usual fluffy hat; instead a golden crown encircles the top of his head. He must have loaned it from the king.

             I wear a white gown to match Edward’s clothes. The gown has silver embroidery on the bodice. It is far simpler from Edward’s garments but not too simple to be out-shown by others in court. For my jewelry, I wear a necklace that was said to be my grandmother’s, Margaret Tudor. She is the older sister of His Majesty.  

I also wear a crown, a crown of Jane Seymour’s, Edward’s deceased mother. She wore this on the day of her wedding to His Majesty. The king kept the crown in the hopes that Edward’s bride could one day wear the crown on their wedding day. It is rather sentimental of the king to have kept this crown. For a moment, I thought he has a heart.

            My ladies and Her Majesty leave us, giving Edward and I a chance to have some privacy. “Do you really not care about the bad omen that we will get for this?” I reprimand him but in jest, putting my hands on my waist.

“No.” Edward smiles.

            “You look beautiful.” He adds.

            “Thank you, you look quite dashing as well.” I reply.

            “Quite dashing? I think not. I am completely dashing.” He teases and I pretend to scoff. 

            “You are so full of yourself, Edward.” I tease.

            “I am aware and I think that is the reason why you find me so irresistible.”

            “If that is what you want to believe.”

            “Oh, I know I am telling the truth.” He boldly replies. We both laugh.

            “Why do you come here? You are supposed to be at the chapel by this time.” I tell him.

            “I cannot get married with0ut seeing you.” He explains.

I give him a tight embrace. He is caught off-guard. Edward has grown into an unfeeling person. He only shows affection to a selected few. If you are one of them, then you are special to him.

            I could sense the fear in Edward as I embrace him, and I am certain he can sense mine. Nothing could have prepared us for this, though we have known this day would come. This is just the beginning. Marriage will surely change us.

            “Edward, are you ready for this? Do you think we are ready for this?” I ask him in a scared expression. He does not reply.

“We have to be ready for this.” He tells me and embraces me tighter.   

            We hear the door open the queen comes into view. We do not let go of each other. “It is time.” She tells us.

Edward and I, hand in hand, walk to the chapel. It is uncustomary for the bridegroom and the bride to arrive at the chapel together, but we did not mind. We want to go through with this together, every step of the way.

            We arrive at the chapel and everyone turns to us. Important members of the court, the king’s council, and the royal family are the only ones invited to the ceremony. The rest of the court is waiting for us at the banquet.

 I see that Edward’s sisters seated in front, wearing their most cheerful yet sorrowful faces. They arrived last night. I then see His Majesty at the other side, across the aisle, of his daughters. He wore the brightest smile in the chapel, despite his ill appearance. He must be jumping for joy for this occasion, even though he is physically unable to. Due to his overweight, His Majesty requires a device that helps him move about.

We walk down the aisle, towards the archbishop. I can feel us trembling. Our hands clutch each other tighter as we take each other.  

We reach the altar and the archbishop begins and I try my best to pay attention on what he is saying, but I fail. Worries are starting to get the best of me. I worry about Scotland. I worry about mother. I worry about Edward. And I worry about myself.

What will now happen to my beloved realm once I become the queen of England? What happens to mother? Will I finally be able to see her again? Will Edward be fair and just in ruling both England and Scotland? Will I be able to fulfill my obligations as queen? There are so many thoughts coursing through my mind.

I am only broken from my trance when Edward squeezes my hand hard. I look at him and he is focused on the archbishop. He squeezes my hand again. I am not certain if he is trying to comfort me, or if he is trying to comfort himself. It is somehow painful but I ignore it.

The ceremony ends and we are pronounced man and wife. We turn to our witnesses and they applaud us. I glance at His Majesty, and he is in high spirits. Edward and I descend the aisle, still tightly holding onto each other, and stop by His Majesty to pay our respects to him. I curtsy and Edward bows. I get to look at him and he gives me, he gives us, a very pleased expression. We continue to walk down the aisle until we are out of the chapel.

Once out of sight, Edward and I release a deep breath and look at each other. “It is done.” I tell him. “It is.” He agrees. We must look like we both just got out of a battle.

“What happens now?” I ask.

“We carry on.”

“I am scared.” I tell him.

“Me too” Edward replies, interlinking our fingers and kisses my hand.

We head to the banquet hall, where the rest of the court and other guests are waiting for us. If we are to survive marriage and the court, we are going to have to go through with this together.

        

     After the banquet I am brought to our chamber, Edward’s chamber. I am dressed in my night gown and upon arriving I see a priest and Edward, who is also in his night gown. They look at me as I come into view. I trembled my way towards them.

“Are you cold? Do you want me to send in more wood for the fire?” Edward asks me.

“No, I am just terrified.” I whisper.

Before Edward can reply, the priest then blesses us that this night may be fruitful. He leaves soon, after bidding us a good night.  

        

    Now, I am feeling more anxious. Everyone knows what happens now. I nervously look at Edward and then the bed and then back at him. Edward looks at me, as if he is studying me. I feel vulnerable, and I wrap my arms around me.

       

     “I think I know why you are frightened.” Edward chuckles and I glare at him.

            “You are horrid.”

            “Mary, you can trust me with this.”

            “Hmmm… well that would depend on what context you are speaking of.” I say as I embrace myself tighter.

            “Come, it is time we get under the covers and get some rest.” Edward says and does so. Once settled he turns to me and pats the space beside him. I reluctantly comply. We lay in bed facing each other.

            “Are you still unease?” Edward asks.

            “Yes”

            “Why?”

            “Because I am in bed with a man.”

            “Then imagine the time we would sleep side-by-side when we were still children. Think of it as just like that.”

I close my eyes and do so. It surprisingly I makes me at ease.

            “Why are you so calm about this?” I ask him, opening my eyes.

            “I have to be. We will be doing more than this in the future. There is an expectation. We do not have to do anything tonight.” Edward replies.

I get nervous at the thought and look away.

“But we will have to.” I say in distaste.

 I then feel myself being dragged and engulfed in a pair of arms, then a kiss on the forehead. “We will get through this together.” Edward reassures me.