[untitled]

Reviews

[Sandy]

i liked this story; it has a lot of potential. a line though that you should consider moving is the the one that says "that day nothing made sense...talk to a shrink kind of way". i think it would be better put after parapraph 6 b/c :
1. after the question "should i put it on" leaves readers questioning "Why not?" and the paragraphs that talk about how the grandpa found them and how they might be magical answers it right away.
2. that senence would be better put after it is explained that the artifacts might be magical b/c then it forshadows of the destruction that they can cause.
then again though..moving it there and having it forshadow of the destruction that they can cause pretty much kills the part of the story where it says that the artifacts can be bad.
so..nvm ^.^ good story

[Krystal Waters]

I thought the story was good, had some good points however, you put objects in there that were a bit confusing as you explained what happened such as, the samari sword. The wording was a little off but I got the jest of it. You had mentioned the gauntlet but didn't go much into detail and since you had named the story after the gauntlet it seemed you should have focused more on that. The story is very interesting but it needs a little fixing. At the beginning you say, that was the day you found it. In a readers mind they don't know what "it" is. So replacing that word into a descriptive word would be better and hold the audience attention. I guess the best way to really make this story ride is to first explain your grandfather and his possessions then get to the real part where you are trying to tell the story. You left me wondering what the glove was, and the gauntlet, and the cup!

All in all, your story had some good points and a good story.
Krystal

[xccds]

This is really interesting :)