I am a cloud

Your whispers warm me so....

I felt you
Lying next to me
Singing sweet whispers
touching my soul

Your sweet kiss
nourishing the very
core of my existence.

I am a boy floating
in an eternal
sea drifting endlessly
lost without you

Being change into a man
by your touch feeling
the pureness that
you offer me.

I am a cloud
in your sky.
Who will sometimes
turn the light
into shadows

But I am forever yours.

Author's Note

inspired by Lily Mae's "softly in the night"

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Lily-Mae/725963/

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

I enjoyed reading the gentle cadence of this poem. However, the most striking stanzas were the ones in which you speak of transformation:

I was a boy floating
in an eternal
sea drifting endlessly
lost without you.

Dreaming of you
dancing in a crystal
clear blue sky
while riding the waves
of self loathing.

Gaining insight into
life and love
changing into a man
with your gentle touch
feeling
the pureness that
you offer.

The juxtaposition of images is really effective and they cement the reader's attention. It's highly emotive and has all the trappings of a romantic poem.

[jwesley]

Nice! My friend, enjoyed this.

j.

[TilisLied]

Wow! Very beautiful. I usually find this stuff kind of corny but I like your writing. Nicely done!

[TK]

reading this, all the memories of my ex comes flooding back. the way you put all the emotions into your words without having to name one is amazing. great work!

[koty bell]

great work

[Deandra Dawn]

Very well written.

[Emily B]

this is lovely, well-written

[Larry Dyson]

very subtle ..but simply well chosen words..

[Liza]

clouds do seem so light and lovely on a sunny day - this piece represented sunshine without dark clouds

[Lily Mae]

You amaze me... I love it..xo

[Babieegirl]

great emotions flowed through. Keep it up, i love it. (=