Katherine

Fifth Chapter of Cloudburst

Katherine

 

It was in a small farming town that I met her, it was quite similar to Silvermouth, in fact, I think that was why I stopped there in the first place. I had been trying to outrun the rain that chased me, after Piers’ death I no longer knew what to do with myself. I went from place to place, town to town, trying to drink away my sorrow, just a little bit at a time. I never could drink enough to get him off my mind though, and it wasn’t until I met her that I managed to stop thinking about him.

The place was called Briarwood, and when I arrived I delved straight into the brewery. I can’t remember what it was called, after all, I wasn’t there to have a good time, I was only there to get drunk and forget. She could have told you what it was called, it was her folks place and she worked there for them, serving drinks and cleaning up after patrons.

I sat in the corner away from everyone, as you should very well know I am wont to do, and tried my best to forget Piers. It wasn’t working though, and all I could think about was how I’d held him dying in my arms, unable to save him. Worse yet, was the fact that it had been my fault he had died, I had killed the young knight.

Somewhere between drinking and crying over my fallen companion was when I saw her. She had long brown hair, green eyes that radiated warmth, and the face of an angel. She was the most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life. And that, is the best description I can ever give to anyone, for words cannot begin to describe how beautiful she was. I watched her that night, she intrigued me, and something about the way she moved just seemed to bring my attention straight back whenever I looked away.

She caught me looking at her once or twice, and whenever she did I would smile, and then she would smile back. And when she smiled… when she smiled I would stop thinking about Piers, and the rain would stop, and I would be happy, if only for that moment. So naturally, when she left to go home and was followed by two men, I noticed.

I attempted to stay where I was and keep drinking away my sorrows and I failed, I couldn’t let them hurt someone who had taken away the rain. So, tucking away my sadness and sense of self-loathing, I bolted from the brewery and after the men. It wasn’t long before I caught up and found them harassing her under the cover of night. After putting them down I walked her home, and we got to talking, she was the third person I ever told my name.

“Who do I have to thank for saving me?” she asked, sheepishly looking away from me as I made eye contact. She never was particularly good at looking me in the eyes.

“Name’s Danny” I said, taking a step closer as she moved away from me “do those guys normally give you trouble?”

“Not really, sometimes they get a bit… overfriendly when I serve them, but they’ve never followed me before…” her voice dropped as she got to the end of the sentence “thank you again Danny, god knows what could have happened…”

Our arms touched for the briefest of moments, and I could feel lightning shoot through my body as goose bumps started to rise. Her skin was warm and smooth, it felt like it was silk rubbing against my arm. I wasn’t used to it, the majority of my body being covered in scars from my father meant that my skin was far from smooth.

“Why did you come here Danny?” she asked, looking me directly in the eyes for a brief moment before shying away.

I restrained myself from both laughing and crying, the rain had brought me here, but I couldn’t say that.

“I just travel a lot, go from place to place, I guess it was all up to chance me coming here really” I said, smiling “or maybe it was fate” I added cornily.

She blushed deeply and turned away from me, but she quickly composed herself and moved back to my side, starting to slowly lean into me. The rain had stopped a long time a go, now I felt warm, like the sun was shining on my face and it was a beautiful day.

“Well… where are you from?” she asked a lot of questions, it wasn’t annoying though.

“I’m from a small farming town called Silvermouth that lies far to the east from here” I said, after deciding not to tell her about my real home, I did not want to scare her after all. “It’s a place not so different from here, the name comes from the two silvery mountains that cradle the valley, I live with my… father Rowan, on our farm, the place is really just two mountains and one really big field”

“Is it as beautiful as it sounds?” she whispered in awe.

“Yeah it’s beautiful, it really is, there’s no place quite like home eh?” I said, remembering when Piers had said the exact same words to me. It didn’t start to rain though, being with her, I realised, meant that it could never rain in my world.

“I wish I could say the same, this is my home” she said, sweeping her arms around “and most of my time is spent serving drinks to fat old men”

“Well back home, I usually spend the better part of a day covered in horse and cow s**t! So I’d say you haven’t got it too bad” I replied.

She laughed and raised a hand to cover her mouth which slid along the side of my body. Although she hadn’t intended it, her touch was pure ecstasy and I held back a shudder of pleasure.

“I suppose it’s not all bad here” she sighed and leaned even further into me. I could feel the sweat starting to form on my brow, I wasn’t uncomfortable, well maybe I was, or was I? I don’t know.

I slipped my arm behind her and let it rest gently on her back, she didn’t seem to mind, in fact, I remember she smiled straight at me as I did so. After that as we talked she lead me through a series of back paths and tracks that I was certain formed a circle. That made me happy, I don’t know, it just did.

“If you travel a lot” she said, sounding slightly sad “than you’ll be leaving soon won’t you?”

I grinned mischievously “I might stick around here for a bit actually” I could feel her grip tighten around my arm “something tells me the people here make for good company”

She blushed again, although this time she didn’t pull away from me and playfully pushed me. “Yeah we do alright I guess” she replied “sadly though, we can’t stay out all night with strange men or our parents start to wonder”

She came to a stop and pointed to a rather largish house, indicating it as her own. I expected her to simply leave, but she didn’t. She just stood there for a while, awkwardly rocking from side to side and fluttering her eyelashes at me. Never having really been with a woman romantically it took me a while to catch on, and to realise what she was waiting for. At some point it occurred to me and I took a step forward so that our bodies just barely touched.

The top of her head rested against me, just under my chin and warm air flowed down my neck from her and onto my chest. As I breathed in I caught her scent and stood there, paralysed and intoxicated by the beautiful smell for a moment. Despite spending the night serving beers to drunkards, she smelt sweet, like the first flowers of spring.

I bent down so that I was face to face with her and again stopped, once more paralysed but this time by her beauty. I looked deep into her eyes, and for once, she didn’t look away. In her eyes, her bright bright eyes, I could see sunlight, and it felt warm. It made me feel warm.

Finally I moved the rest of the way and pressed my lips against hers. The feeling that followed was and still is indescribable. First it took everything away, my home, my father, my second home, my second father, the mountains, and Piers. Everything. And then it brought it all back, but instead of feeling bad about my father, and guilty about Piers death, I just felt happy. All of it seemed more than just a distance away, it was a whole lifetime away. I had started my new, second life, with that kiss, and I hadn’t even known her name yet.

She slowly pulled away after what seemed like eons of having locked lips with her and placed a hand on my chest. Sliding her hand up to my lips she indicated for me to remain silent and walked back towards the house. I too turned and started to walk away before I heard her voice for one last time that night.

“Danny!?” she yelled out after me, I turned, obeying her earlier command and remaining silent. She stood outside her house, just in front of the door.

“I never gave you my name… and from the look’s of things you will be needing it,” she said, giggling. “It’s Katherine” she said, before waving and going inside. I left swiftly after she had gone, not realising that just the same as Piers’, that name would also forever be engraved into my memory.

 

 

“That’s what Symonds took from me old man” I said, choking on old tears and my own regrets “he took her away from me and stole a part of me just like my father, he murdered her Rowan, and for that I’m going to kill the b*****d”

I looked up out through the alleyway and into the street, people were continuing to walk about as usual. It was raining. But no one seemed to notice, they continued on their nightly business as if everything was normal. They were completely oblivious, and it was good that they were, if they knew any better than they probably wouldn’t care anyway. Like Rowan.

“Danny I-“

“No Rowan!” I shouted, slamming my fist into the ground “I don’t care if that’s not the right thing to do, or if I’m ‘going about this the wrong way’, I really don’t…”

I started to sob slowly into my hands, and as the tears ran through my fingers and onto the cobblestone floor, I could feel the rain about to totally take control.

“Symonds is going to die Rowan, and I’m going to be the one to do it” I spat, looking up into the old farmer’s green eyes “but first, I’m going to tell you the rest of the story”

“Okay Danny…” he replied, slowly brushing back a stray lock of red hair “let’s hear the rest of the story”

 

 

You know that I became apprenticed to a blacksmith, I told you that part once before, I never told you why though. She was why. The money that you left to me was starting to dry up by that point, and the only job I could find for myself in Briarwood was as an apprentice to the blacksmith. The pay wasn’t great, and the work was hard, but the smith was old as smiths went, and I knew that eventually I would be his replacement.

He was a good man, the kind of good man who didn’t care when your first horse-shoe was shaped like an ‘L’ rather than a ‘U’. And the kind of good man who didn’t let off that he knew you were courting the daughter of a family that was far too good for you. Little did I know back then that I was noble, had I remembered that I would have claimed Katherine as my own far earlier.

His name was Godfrey, and his wife’s Isolde, they had no kids but took me in as one of the own quite like you Rowan. In addition to paying me as an apprentice, Godfrey also made sure I was well fed. I’m not entirely sure I whether I would have survived without them, and for that I am eternally grateful.

It was nearly six days after that first kiss, when I had fully secured my place with Godfrey, that I saw Katherine again. She was simply lying in a field next to a pack, at the time I had been nervous to approach her, little did I know that she had in fact been waiting there for me.

“You certainly took your time finding me again Danny” Katherine said, with a mixture of irritation and joy as I approached “you certainly know how to get a girl interested though…”

“Sorry, I was just caught up with… well everything really,” I said, smiling down at her where she lay.

“There’s no need to apologise, you know, everyone in town has heard about the new blacksmith’s apprentice, he’s a strapping lad apparently” she giggled and blushed simultaneously.

I lay down next to her and stretched myself out on the grass, extremely stiff after starting to work with Godfrey. My first few days working with the blacksmith had been hard and gruelling, hopefully with time though, my strength as well as my skills would grow.

The sky was lacking in of clouds for the most part on that day, save to the east. On the eastern horizon I could see dark rain clouds brooding, they looked to be blowing northward though, so I smiled. The sun was shining bright.

“What’s in that bag of yours anyway?” I asked, my curiosity had peaked. It was round whatever it was, and fairly large too.

“I don’t know actually” she said, pulling an adorable face as she she tried to think “dad gave it to me this morning, let’s have a look shall we?”

She unlatched the bag and pulled back the top to reveal a large green watermelon inside. Grabbing a knife from under the melon she slowly started to cut a piece off a piece for each of us. I rolled over onto my stomach to look at the fruit, I’d never really had one before but I had heard that they were good. There was a loud crunching noise to my side as Katherine bit into her slice of melon, squirting juices everywhere.

“What’s it taste like?” I asked.

She finished what was left of her rather small bite and pulled a face at me. “Fresh” she replied, winking at me.

I laughed at her and shook my head, tentatively taking a bite of my own melon. “It’s not bad” I said, between mouthfuls of watermelon.

After finishing the melon I rolled onto my back once more and lay there looking up at the sky. Katherine crept over and laid her head against my chest, once again intoxicating me with her smell. Sparks danced across my skin as her fingers slid down my chest slowly, playfully toying with the collar of my shirt.

“Working tonight?” I asked, wrapping my arm around her.

“Yeah of course” she huddled closer to me, and looked up into my eyes “I’m hoping that tonight I might catch a glimpse of Godfrey’s mysterious apprentice”

“I get the feeling that he’ll be there tonight” I said, kissing her lightly on the forehead.

She sighed and shut her eyes, allowing the full weight of her head to press against me. I still remember that as one of, if not the, happiest day of my life. We didn’t say much after that, we just lay there and let the world pass us by. I finally realised that day, that she filled the hole, she was the part of me that was missing. And I had her, if only for a short time.

After spending the day with here I returned back ‘home’ to find Godfrey waiting for me outside. I can still remember the expression on his face; he had looked both happy and almost angry. Extremely conflicted, that was the only way to describe the look on his face, although he wasn’t mad, he was worried I think.

“And where have you been all day?” the large blacksmith asked in his usual rough tone.

“You said you had nothing much to do today if I recall correctly” I replied. “You said I could have the day off before we got into some ‘real hard work’ as you put it”

“As true as that is” he said stroking at his bushy black beard. “It still doesn’t answer my question, for someone who has just come into town you do not seem to have had a hard time making friends”

I bit down hard onto my bottom lip. How he knew about Katherine I had no idea, honestly I didn’t care either. I suppose it was good that he knew now rather than finding out later on though.

“Have I done something wrong Godfrey?” I asked disrespectfully.

“Not exactly laddie…” he said staring into my eyes intently. “I trust you know who her parents are?”

I didn’t know exactly who they were per say, however I did know that they were fairly wealthy and of semi-noble blood.

“I’ve heard bits and pieces” I replied, nodding my head. “Enough to know that I should probably stay away from Katherine”

The smith cocked his head at me, looking rather surprised by my response.

“Well, are you going to stay away from her?”

“I’ve spent more than a quarter of my life moving around the place, running away and hiding from things I don’t want to catch up with me, she’s the only reason I decided to stay here in the first place, I’m done with running, I really am” I answered.

He sighed and beckoned for me to follow him into the house and I obeyed without a word, afraid of how he would reply.

I took my first proper look around the house I was staying in. The building was constructed from sturdy stone, and being the house of a blacksmith many metal ornaments could be seen around the place. There was a fireplace against one wall and the head of a moose hung suspended over it.

Godfrey took a seat at a chair in front of the fire and started trying to light it with a knife and a chunk of flint.

Stopping for a moment the smith turned and looked at me. “Well you’re just going to have to be careful than alright laddie” he said before returning to the fire. “Personally I don’t really mind, but it would look awfully bad on me if my apprentice was caught with someone like her, so just promise me you won’t get seen by her parents fooling around, I’d be ruined”

I was shocked by how much the man was willing to put on the line just so I could be happy. But, like I said, Godfrey was a good man.

“Like I said, I’ve spent a large part of my life running and hiding, and I promise I’ll be extra careful” I said slowly. “For both of our sakes…”

After a few more strikes of flint on knife the fire finally came alight illuminating the room in an orange glow. Godfrey set the knife and flint down on top of the fireplace and indicated for me to take the other seat.

“You hardly look old enough to have been on the move for a quarter your life,” he said warily. “You were what, sixteen when you first left home then?”

“Fifteen actually…” I said, remembering just why I had left in the first place.

Turning my face away from Godfrey I stared into the fire. There were faces in there, Piers for one, but the main face that stuck out was my fathers’. The shadow laughed at me from within the fire and. I could all but hear his drunken laugh as he slashed with a knife at my soul.

“But that’s a story for another time” I said bluntly.

Godfrey stroked his beard once again and nodded at me, slowly starting to smile at me, something I had rarely seen him do.

“Indeed” he said. “What I do believe it to be time for is dinner laddie, I’m starving,” he added, climbing to his feet.

“Oh c’mon man! You just had me sit down” I replied jokingly.

“Well you can stay here if you want,” he said shrugging. “But I do believe the food is over here” he said disappearing into the next room.

I sat for a moment and looked into the fire one last time, the shadowy face of my father was gone now. I rose and followed after the blacksmith with a smile.

 

 

The days following that were all very much the same. I would spend most of every day learning from Godfrey and helping him around the forge. After we were done I would be off to visit Katherine, this could either be out in the fields alone with her or simply watching her work from a dark corner. Either way, I treasured every moment I got with her.

Occasionally though, Godfrey would give me the day off to spend with her and we would always find ourselves somewhere secluded away from the prying eyes of her parents. It was on one of these days that I proposed to her, and against all odds. She said yes.

I had told Katherine to meet me outside of her house but when I arrived she was nowhere to be seen. So after a prolonged period of waiting for her, I decided to press my luck and climb a tree that extended up and to her bedroom.

Once on the branch that reached out towards her window I leaned as close as I could to peer in. She was simply on her bed lying down flat on her stomach with her feet in the air. Maybe she had forgotten?

Reaching out I tapped on the window gently, attempting to draw her attention but she didn’t notice. I tapped again, harder this time, and she rolled onto her side and eventually started to step tentatively towards the window.

The window flung open earlier and far more violently than I had been expecting. Startled I lost my balance, let out a yelp and tumbled forward through the window and onto Katherine.

“Well hello there” I said, my face but centimetres from hers.

“What the hell are you doing Danny?” she demanded in a hushed tone.

As she spoke her sweet smelling breath flowed over my face causing her words to lose their venom.

“Well I was waiting outside for a while and you didn’t seem to be coming so… yeah,” I said, licking her on the nose playfully.

After wiping her nose with the back of her hand she pushed me off and got to her feet. She looked angry.

“You have to get out of here before one of my parents hear you!” she shouted quietly.

It hurt me a little bit that she was trying to get rid of me despite her good intentions I ignored it though.

“Well let’s get going then princess! I mean we don’t have all day,” I said grabbing her hand and yanking her to my side.

“My parents won’t even let me leave the house Danny!” she replied. “I’m sorry, I can’t”

I lowered my face to hers once more and gazed into her eyes, making sure that for once she returned my stare. The majority of the time I could get her to do what I wanted by doing that.

“You promised,” I said, pulling a face.

Biting her lip she continued to stare into my eyes and I could feel her hand begin to slide up my arm. Finally she sighed.

“I guess what they don’t know can’t hurt them” she whispered, kissing me on the cheek.

I twisted my head in the direction of the door as I heard what sounded like footsteps coming up a staircase. If Katherine’s parents found me in her room than there would be hell to pay from them, and more importantly, from Godfrey.

Putting one hand around Katherine’s back and the other underneath her legs I swept her up off her feet and held her against my chest. She let out a little yelp but wrapped her arms around my neck quickly enough.

“What on earth are you doing Danny?” she asked.

I didn’t answer her, I was too busy deciding whether or not jumping down the tree with her would break my legs or not. Eventually I decided the latter.

I pulled her even more tightly to my chest, and then without warning pounced through the window and onto the protruding tree branch. I managed to keep my balance without too much difficulty and then silently slid down to the ground below as I heard her door opening.

Katherine started to giggle and shake in my arms as we went and despite being terrified of getting caught I couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh shut it would you,” I said, trying to sound harsh. She made me far to happy to be mean though.

“How about you shut up yourself and run faster!” she teased, squeezing the back of my neck. “Just make sure they don’t see us at least”

In spite of how light she was, running while carrying Katherine still proved to be an effort. But, nevertheless we were soon around the corner to where Pandora was waiting and out of her parents’ sight.

“What’s Pan doing here?” she asked.

“I figured I’d do the whole knight in shining armour bit, you know,” I said grinning. “Sweep you off your feet and carry you away on my horse”

She laughed as I set her down onto the ground and she proceeded to wipe her skirt. “Where are we going anyway?”

“Somewhere special” I replied. “Now hurry up and get on the bloody horse already!”

I found myself laughing hysterically as she attempted to pull herself up onto Pandora but got stuck halfway.

“A little help please?” she said, sounding a little embarrassed.

 Taking a step towards Katherine and the horse, I grabbed her by the leg to help her up.

“Well maybe if you weren’t so fat…” I remarked, pushing her up and onto the horse.

“I’m sorry what!” came her immediate reply.

“Oh nothing princess, I just have a bit of a cough” I replied, covering my mouth as a joke.

“Hurry up and get on the bloody horse already” she said mimicking me.

In one fluid motion I jumped from the floor and vaulted onto Pandora’s back behind where Katherine was sitting. A wide grin set in across my face, I could practically feel the hate vibes coming from her.

“Show off” she said quietly but sternly as Pandora started to move.

The spot I we were going to sat atop a rather large hill, or small mountain have you. It looked out over all of Briarwood and reminded me much of a similar spot I had frequented in Silvermouth.

“So where are we going?” she asked again.

“Don’t be so impatient, we’ll be there soon enough, after all Pandora…”

“Was the fastest horse in all of Silvermouth, yeah yeah I’ve heard it all before” she said, pouting at me over her shoulder.

“Well in any case we’re here” I said triumphantly, pointing ahead of us.

“Danny” she said slowly. “You realise that it’s a hill right?”

Grunting I squeezed her side just above the hip causing her to start laughing and squirming in the saddle.

“Just go and look at the view, we’re not here for the dumb hill after all” I said, dismounting and offering her my hand.

She took my hand and hopped down from the horse, she half fell down but I caught her, I always caught her. I received a peck on the cheek as thanks before I slid my hand around to the front of hers and she slid her fingers between mine.

As we reached the top of the hill I reached with my free hand into my pocket for the ring. I had spent the better part of the last few months having Godfrey teach me how to forge the ring and saving my money to afford a gem for it.

“It’s beautiful Danny…” she said in awe.

“Just like you” I replied quickly, bending my head down towards her to steal a kiss. It was still like electricity that was the thing, the spark never faded with us.

“I have something” I said, stopping halfway through the sentence to prevent myself from choking. Honestly I think I was just scared. “I have something that I need to ask you” I finished with no small amount of effort.

“Go on then” she said, her big green eyes shining like the grasslands of Silvermouth.

“Do you remember a while back, when I said to you that If you’d let me, that I’d spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy?” I asked quietly.

Even if she didn’t remember I sure did, it was another of those moments that never left my mind. Like Piers death, except this memory was good.

She nodded her reply and started to bite her lip as well as clench my hand even tighter.

“Well now I want to know princess,” I said, my hand trembling as I pulled the ring from my pocket.

“Will you let me spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy?” I asked, offering her the ring and my soul, both in the same hand.

“Y-yes” she said nodding. I swear I saw a tear on her face when she gave me my answer.

At that moment I was the happiest I ever have been, and ever will be during my life. I can remember we sat on top of that hill for a long time, even when it got dark we didn’t leave. We just talked about, well, anything and everything that came to mind, I think I even brought up having kids once. Everything was perfect.

 

 

“We, of course, didn’t know back then, that her parents wouldn’t be alive come the end of that year” I said, trying my best to ignore the downpour “they were in some kind of accident I heard, I never really asked Katherine, she didn’t handle it well…”

Rowan stood perfectly still where he was, he looked to be battling a rainstorm of his own. Talking about Katherine must have made him think about his girl, he never told me much about her, never even giving me her name. Maybe he was just as broken as I was…

“I” he stopped “I’ve been trying to tell you what to do, how to be good, and how to do the right thing” he choked out, a single tear falling down his face “when I know, that I would be doing the exact same  thing, I’m sorry Danny, I really am”

 I smiled up at Rowan through the rain, and punched him lightly in the leg. “everyone’s sorry for something old man, realising that isn’t the hard part, it’s what comes after that is, and deciding what to do with your guilt is the real test”

“It would seem that you have wisdom all of your own now lad” he said, returning my smile “now you said her parents died at the end of that year, well what happened after that?”

“That, old man, was the beginning of the end”

 

 

I stayed with Katherine at her folks place for some time after their death, although I knew she hated the place. Her eyes didn’t shine like they used to, and she was haunted by the ghosts of her parents. So I did what I thought was right and arranged for the place to be sold. And then after that, I did the only thing I knew how to, I did the thing you taught me how to do. I built us a home.

Or at least I started to. She was happy then, and the light that had disappeared from her eyes came back. We spent the majority of our days together working on the house and the rest of my time was spent being prepared to take over from Godfrey. By that point there was another apprentice, I can’t quite recall his name, and it’s highly likely though that he took over after I left. After Symonds murdered Katherine, broke me, and drove me away from my third home.

In the summer of that year is when Symonds and his soldiers arrived in town. I was put off straight away by their antics around Katherine in the brewery, and on several occasions I nearly got into fights with them. However, each and every time, Katherine would stop me before I did anything rash against them.

Eventually though, when Symonds grew bolder he started venturing it people’s houses. Houses where young women were living in particular. One night I returned home to find he had broken into our nearly finished home, and was waiting for Katherine. The fact that I had arrived first didn’t seem to bother him, everything he had planned fell into place in any case.

“Can I help you, sir?” I asked him, grinding my teeth, had I not promised Katherine, I would have punched him then and there. It was probably for the best I did not though, he was after all, armed and at the command of many soldiers.

“Oh no, I do not require anything from you in particular” he said, smiling like a wolf that was about to go in for the kill “I must say, I’m rather enjoying myself, nice place you’ve got going here”

He was a tall and very muscular man, quite attractive I assumed, with his jet black hair, bright blue eyes and shiny smile. Everything about him repulsed me though, I had not realised it then but he reminded me of everything I hated in this world. He reminded me of my father. He was the rain.

  He picked an apple up from where it sat in a bowl on the table and examined it before taking a large and rather noisy bite. “Nice apple” he waved the bitten apple at me slowly.

I didn’t reply, I just stood there and continued to watch him, hoping that he would leave, and soon. I remember feeling thin at that moment, like I was being torn asunder as the sunshine and rain both battled to possess my body. It was a horrible feeling, even worse than just the rain itself. I knew something bad was going to happen, I never realised quite how bad it would be though.

“Don’t you have somewhere that you should be?” I asked, trying to mask my anger and failing miserably.

“No, not exactly my friend” he replied. My friend? I found it funny that he called me that.

Again there was a period of silence after he spoke, although this time I left him standing there. That, just like leaving Piers, was a mistake, and funnily enough, I had left him to go and find Piers’ sword.

Katherine came home through the back of the house that night, it was unfinished and as such had no door. This meant that I didn’t hear when she arrived home and was unable to save her, just like with Piers. I heard her scream and a mash of loud noises and rushed to the scene to find Symonds… attacking her. That should give you the gist of it, any and all other details are quite an unnecessary pain for me, especially considering how long he would have had after dealing with me.

I fought Symonds then, only briefly though. I was sloppy, having not fought in a long time and he… well the rumours of his prowess in battle are not entirely untrue to say the least. After a short struggle he delivered a blow that knocked me unconscious. When I woke up… she was just lying there, her throat cut, and her clothes bloodied and torn.

The rain has never been worse than it was that day, and I knew, that the only thing left for me to do was to kill Symonds, and bring the b*****d to justice. And that brings me to here…

 

 

“That brings me to now old man” I finished, wiping the tears from my eyes “first though, Piers sword needs to be returned, but then, I won’t stop until I reach Hollowdell and kill Symonds”

Reviews

[Alleyway Rover]

Sorry for the large gap between reviews. Life got busy all of a sudden and will continue to be so for a while. I’ll try to slip in a few comments when I can, but know they are going to be fewer and farther in between for a few weeks.

Overview: At risk of sounding like a broken record, we run into too much backstory. I’ve already said quite a bit about it, so I will leave it at that.

I will say that the added conflicts, the old boy from the lower class trying to court a girl of the upper class and the later death of her parents, are useful in the sense that it defines their relationship. That kind of history means they act and react to each other differently, but you probably don’t need to go into it much if at all.

Ironically, the scene that probably needs to be told in the most detail is the scene you gloss over the most, namely the night that Symonds killed Katherine. This is the moment that set Danny on his quest and I feel like you kept us at a distance from the event. Remember your main conflict (I think) is him trying to get revenge for her death. Stick with that story if it’s the one you want to tell. We don’t need to know how they met or fell in love… but I think we need the details of her death because that is the great motivating event.

Additional Notes:

‘I wasn’t used to it, the majority of my body being covered in scars from my father meant that my skin was far from smooth.’

I wasn’t aware that his father beat him this badly. I could be forgetting something, but I feel like this is a physical description of him that would have come up before now.

‘The window flung open earlier and far more violently than I had been expecting. Startled I lost my balance, let out a yelp and tumbled forward through the window and onto Katherine.’

The actions here really don’t make sense to me. I see him sitting on a limb reaching over to tap her window, the window being opened out… which would mean he is pushed away from the window, I think, not towards it.

‘This meant that I didn’t hear when she arrived home and was unable to save her, just like with Piers.’

I’m not sure I understand this. Where was he and why wasn’t he able to help. He’s in the house, with Symonds, right?